Living with conflicting drug addicts is like living in a minefield, not only polluting the environment with their discomfort and the anguish of those who know that a comment, gesture or word is enough to jump on us, but also contaminate us with the tension of those who only go to war. Internal.
We all know or have lived together at some point with a clearly conflicted personality, we are not talking about that classic trublion that can be right now in any classroom of a school, trying to overcome its adolescence and its identity crises. a very specific profile characterized by behaviors aimed solely at destabilization, breaking the family balance and creating disagreements between neighbors and real battles in any work scenario.
- We are talking about an addiction.
- An almost compulsive search for conflict.
- So without considering something anecdotal.
- Authors as relevant as Dr.
- Bill Eddy.
- Mediator and creator of the Institute for Conflict Resolution.
- Warn us of something very specific.
- In culture.
- This type of personality is present in almost every field.
- So we need to be aware of what’s behind it to better manage the situation.
“Some people cause happiness wherever they go, others give it when they go. “Oscar Wilde-
People addicted to conflict
We could say that the best strategy for dealing with people dependent on conflict is to avoid them, however, not everything in this life is solved by going out the back doors, imposing a distance or taking someone off our contact list. As social beings, we are forced to live together and, more than that, we may be one of those people ourselves, someone who used to resort to conflict when there is something we don’t know how to deal with.
Social workers, lawyers, psychologists or psychiatrists often encounter this type of personality, as people who depend on the conflict, believe it or not, are at the origin of many trials, complaints, cases of gender-based violence and labor conflicts. that obvious reality, a specific behavior in which there is someone who seeks to project their anger on others.
Dr. Eddy estimates that if 15% of the adult population has a psychological disorder among those listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), at least 10% of this proportion shows what one calls?Conflicting personality?. Let’s see what traits and behaviors are represented in this type of personality.
What we need to understand from the beginning in the face of a high-conflict personality is that the problem, discussion or exaggerated reaction it projects on ourselves is not real, the problem is not in us, but in these people, in this lack of inner balance, emotional management, psychological strength.
These are its features
“The person who is not at peace with himself will be at war with the whole world. “Mahatma Gandhi –
There will be more people in conflict and people with whom we can talk a little more, however, in many cases, we are forced to live with complex and comprehensive profiles, and that is where appropriate action must be taken. Overlooking is this: we avoid taking reactions as strictly personal, because in reality, this profile is in conflict with itself.
So, as far as possible, let’s not run out of ways to explain and argue with someone who can’t and doesn’t want to hear the reason, let’s not get carried away by storms and just identify them to mitigate the impact they can have. About us.
In addition, from a clinical point of view, it is also important to talk about how to intervene, the DSM itself is investigating the possibility of including highly conflicting personality as a type of disorder to consider, so we should not overlook the importance of receiving specific psychological treatment, in this way you could work aspects as relevant as emotional control , control and the origin of anger, or how to learn to connect with others through empathy and more respectful behavior.
We will conclude by saying that no one is looking for a conflicting personality. It is important to set certain limits, of course, but it should also be considered that many times, behind this awkward “problem-seeking” mask, there is a background of hidden complexities and injuries that require attention.