People who are afraid of conflict opt for silence and “it is better to let go”, they want to avoid direct confrontation and, according to them, they want to live in peace, yet these dynamics based on resistance and non-reaction keep them in a state where unrest, frustration and, above all, the loss of dignity accumulate.
Fears, as such, play an evolutionary role: they help us survive, to react better to risks. However, the real problem with our modernity is that we no longer have predators that put our survival at risk, the threats are no longer physical. and have become, almost exclusively, pathological fears. They are fears that, whether we like it or not, limit our growth, our social and emotional solvency.
- People afraid of conflict complete the consultations of psychologists.
- This data may be surprising.
- But it’s a reality.
- That’s why these profiles are characterized by a dynamic and a mental discourse based almost exclusively on “it’s better not to do or say this so as not to get angry.
- ” I don’t dare say that because it can be harmful “or” I don’t know how to tell that person that what he did doesn’t seem fair to me.
- “.
Living on the brink of permanent insecurity is not living, living under the protection of immobility in the face of injustice is not healthy, being able to react to what we do not like and defending our rights is a principle of well-being and health. Treating conflicts and managing them effectively will help us grow.
The person who is afraid of conflict is the one who fills a balloon with anger and frustration, little by little and silently, does so by swallowing what hurts, giving in and letting this happen, until it is late: the ball ends up exploding. your own hands.
You could say that abstinence over time avoids many conflicts, we all know that and we have already implemented it once, because in general the strategy works, however, the persistent use of abstinence is not an adequate response in all circumstances. when there are injustices and we have to defend and react. The continued use of evasion will gradually place us in the circle of suffering, in an unhealthy defensive barrier.
Almost without realizing it, we end up in situations we don’t want, we will empower others about us and let our personal limits dissolve like sugar in a cup of coffee, people who are afraid of conflict fill health professionals’ consultations with a very obvious fact: they end up adding to this frustration (muscle aches, digestive problems , ulcers, cold sores?) Not to mention, of course, mental health problems, such as anxiety disorders.
If we now wonder what is behind this corrosive fear of conflict, we can say that it is not always easy to define a profile that can serve each individual, however, let’s look at some characteristics that define them, on average, more often.
Is it enough to say the word: conflict? So that we can soon visualize a field of war, a hostile scenario in which words fly and settle, where discrepancies come to insult, where differences fall at an insurmountable distance and you end up losing everything. . You need to make a change, change the thinking, create a new vision of this idea.
People who are afraid of conflict need to understand several things, first of all, these situations can bring us very positive dimensions, resolve these gaps effectively affect our identity and self-esteem, and we also improve the relationships and social contexts in which we are effectively involved. Remember that a conflict can occur in almost any circumstance: online at the supermarket, with our partner, our children, a colleague?
Installing ourselves in passivity or flight takes us away from our own social role, so we are forced to know how to get along, dialogue, solve problems, negotiate, and also meet our own needs, our own integrity. this is not bad; This requires work, presence and proper training in social skills, emotional management and self-knowledge. Let’s stop running away and face life for well-being.