People in conflict, negative people, toxic people, people who hurt us and affect our peace very easily and probably very often, in general, we don’t want these people in our lives, but knowing them is inevitable.
They have a particular confrontational capacity and seem to seek an unpleasant explosion between their thoughts, opinions, emotions and behaviors and ours, their conflict creates great discomfort and interferes with our own concept.
- It’s probably not personal against us.
- But they may be facing a big battle with themselves.
- In the end.
- As Gandhi said.
- A person at war with himself is a person at war with the whole world.
Who has not gone through moments of psychological hardship in their lives, likewise, who has never behaved unfairly with someone, shamelessly hurt and overshadowed the feelings, desires or motivations of others?
That is, we all want to avoid something that, to a greater or lesser extent, we have already done in a certain way in our lives, however, if we stop to think, perhaps when we speak in the first person, we can better understand.
In any case, it tires to have a person who over-criticizes, who tells gossip, tries to fight, who always complains automatically and who distorts reality when it suits him, unseating discussions where peace once reigned.
But that is precisely why it is essential to take an emotional distance, not let your negativism absorb us, not internalize your attacks and not assume your insults, which can penetrate very deeply and mark our self-esteem.
Tips for detecting toxic people, characteristics of them, strategies to defend themselves . . . Perhaps the best way to identify a person in conflict is to understand that he is at war with himself and that he is not a sack of bottomless evil.
To do this, it is necessary to understand that
We must not allow others to drag us into their storms. Why? Let’s understand this better with this example:
? If someone comes to you with a gift and you don’t accept it, where does the gift belong?
? The one who tried to deliver it answered one of the students
? The same goes for envy, anger and insults, the professor said, that when they are not accepted they are still the one who took them.
Everyone gives others what they have inside, whether it’s nice or not, this doesn’t mean that they are the ones who harm us, but that we are the ones who validate their opinions and actions, that is, there are no offenses, but the offended one.
Our interior architecture has weapons to defend against attacks, and three of the most powerful are these: create distance, understand and ignore the irrelevant.
Still, it is not what hurts us, but reproduces this evil thousands of times, we can let words fly away or, on the contrary, stay with us.