People who do not keep their promises are also false illusionists, they are profiles that gradually destroy their bonds of trust to feed us with disappointments, with words that, far from being carried away by the wind, remain forever in us. In the end, what really matters in a relationship is not the promises, but the actions taken.
There are many experts in the field of relationships who say they think: the fewer promises that are made, the better. There will be people who will agree with that statement; however, there is another aspect that we cannot set aside.
- Human beings need security to connect with their peers.
- So promises are declarations of intent through which we build trust in a wide range of interpersonal events.
Children, for example, need these kinds of statements from their parents to have a sense of security in the short and long term. “Dad promises that when you get out of school, I’ll pick you up and play in the park for a bit.
The same goes for a couple: promises are invaluable because they add up to the component in which expectations are met with dreams and certainties, we feel loved and united by a firm commitment.
Breaking a promise is therefore the fastest way to damage a relationship, even more so if the person is a repeat offender, a false illusionist accustomed to feeding his entourage with constant disappointments.
Many times we overlook one aspect when we do not hesitate to criticize what people do or do not do, that is to say: human beings are extremely complex, so much so that sometimes you can be ambivalent without even realizing it.
That is, there are people who break their promises openly and even maliciously, of that there is no doubt, however, there are profiles that engage in these behaviors by internal realities of which they are not fully aware.
Sometimes it is because of insecurity, not knowing how to deny when the child asks for something that has been promised, etc. , on other occasions (the vast majority), we get carried away by the specific moments of intimacy, well-being and dreams from which people emerge so easily. The same ones that then escape like water escaping down the toilet drain.
So one thing we have to take into account in practice not fulfilling promises is that we disappoint not only those we love, but also a part of our self-esteem, the damage caused has direct but also side effects, emotional conflicts arise, we lose honesty and shape family contexts inhabited by a voracious enemy: mistrust.
Let’s see below what may be behind the people who break their promises.
Passive-aggressive personality has a recurring feature. Sometimes these personalities are loving, kind and respond with great outcast to all our opinions and requests.
They will feed us with a thousand and one dreams and proposals to make together, however, in a very short time, they will not be afraid of breaking a promise made a few days ago, or a few minutes ago.
They will clearly counter us; They’ll pretend they never promised anything, that we invented everything. Passive-aggressive personality is certainly a great addict to unfulfilled promises.
We recently said that people who don’t keep their promises aren’t all the same, there are those who don’t know what they’re doing.
It should also be noted that in this case, the impact of broken agreements also affects the person himself, these dynamics in which the person ends up burning in his own failures and in the disappointments generated by others lead to a strong psychological tension.
There are two-sided promises. Agreements from which you can get something in return. We often see this in romantic relationships and even within the family. This happens when someone makes a promise on the condition that the other person do something first.
“Are we going to take a break on the beach this weekend if you help me first with this work project?”Mom promises she’ll take you to Mark’s birthday party if you pass the math tests first.
However, when one party meets the condition, it realizes that the other person will not comply with their part of the agreement, this can happen in a timely manner (sometimes we break our promises because matches happen that we cannot avoid). there are common profiles characterized by this type of manipulation, which ultimately turns out to be blackmail.
Are there people who don’t keep their promises for lack of trust Are they profiles that act with false illusions because they don’t know how to say?When someone asks them something, when their partner, their children or a friend proposes something that demands them. Thus, in order not to know how to impose limits, or even for absolute insecurity, they end up taking responsibility for something they know they will not respect.
Gradually, the feeling of incompetence, discomfort and discomfort towards oneself becomes increasingly intense, especially when they ask for forgiveness and face rejection and disappointment printed on people’s faces.
In conclusion, people who do not keep their promises do not always do so in bad faith or with the clear intention of causing harm.
Often, behind these behaviors, we have profiles that have to work in different areas of their personality, are people who go through internal battles and who need to develop dimensions such as self-affirmation, self-confidence, responsibility and also necessity. to understand the true meaning contained in the promises.
A promise is an act of responsibility that comes from faith in oneself; if it doesn’t exist, the person is unlikely to keep his promise.