There are people who cause discomfort almost from one moment to the next, sometimes it is because of their attitude, the way they observe us, the way they talk to others, the way they invade spaces, or even their way of speaking, it is as if it were a sophisticated but the primitive alarm system is activated in us, able to show us who to walk away with or with whom to deal with caution.
We have all felt this feeling, especially when we do not yet know anyone and our brain is attentive to a multitude of stimuli, clues and gestures with which to carry out a quick mission and decide whether or not we can trust those in front of us. However, it should be noted that we sometimes make mistakes and that these early assessments may be wrong.
- So.
- Before we fall into this hasty attribution where prejudice weighs more than anything else.
- We must understand why this discomfort we feel is due.
- Says subject matter experts.
- Such as Mark Schaller.
- Professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia.
- Our brain uses certain cognitive and behavioral responses to “protect us” or maintain our integrity.
Sometimes these reactions are more of an instinct than an objective and realistic sense, so we recommend estimating or evaluating the influence of some damage before making any decision, in this sense it is better to combine logic with intuition.
“Trusting everyone is foolish, but not trusting anyone is neurotic nonsense. “- Juvenal-
We all use, to a greater or lesser extent, what is called “protective harm”, that is, we anticipate ideas and judgments about people almost automatically, this actually responds to an instinct inherited from self-preservation. be careful in the face of strangers to protect us.
A study from the University of Arizona in the United States has shown that this process is integrated into our brains as an adaptive response to defend ourselves from danger, however, as we already know, this can lead to attributions with negative and even stereotypical connotations. So when we face the question of whether or not we listen to our instincts, the answer is: not always.
So, in the face of the people who are bothering us, we must evaluate the following aspects:
There is interpersonal discomfort in front of the eyes. There are people who look at us with the weight of judgment and even with contempt. Studies, such as that conducted at Tel Aviv University in 2018, show that many women experience obvious discomfort in the way they are observed by certain men.
This shows psychological discomfort from the beginning, in this work it was possible to analyze how this reality is often lived in many work environments, in these looks there was, for example, a sexual connotation, contempt or even contempt in marking a position of power.
Intuition is not just an assumption. Nor is it a process that corresponds to precognition or another supernatural or non-scientific mechanism, intuition is what allows us to act quickly in the face of everyday challenges, based on our previous experience and personality.
Let’s say it’s like a safe where we keep everything we live and experience, where our emotional essence and personality style also lives, so when we need to respond to something automatically, intuition arises to guide us.
So when there are people who cause us discomfort, there is almost always a reason behind that, intuition tells us that, perhaps, this person, by the way he behaves, is like someone you’ve already met and with whom you haven’t had a positive experience. This inner voice warns of the need to be cautious and, as such, it is positive to hear it.
However, it is also important to look for more clues and not make an automatic decision.
Sometimes you only have to look at someone to be aware that there is a high probability that we will be incompatible with that person, this is very common, for example, in the case of the introverted profile. Being with someone who makes use of exaggerated extraversion. , someone who invades spaces, over-speaks and irritates our reserved personality is something that causes a lot of discomfort.
It is clear that it is not always good to be in the first impressions, however, sometimes it only takes a few minutes to feel the discomfort that invites us to turn around.
In conclusion, just as there are people who cause discomfort, the curious thing is that there are also those with which, without knowing how, we get along instantly. People who have magic and with which everything fits and lights up. After all, life has an interesting balance. However, it is always important to revisit our first impressions, one way or another.
Sometimes it is worth going a little further, because in some cases we may have great surprises, on the other hand, if discomfort and discomfort are obvious and constant, it is necessary to pay attention to instinct and intuition to establish an adequate distance with those that provoke these feelings in us.