Why don’t some people thank you and show ingratitude?The truth is, we don’t always need others to be grateful at all times. Yes, we expect some courtesy or at least a benevolent attitude towards our efforts and attitudes. are people who, for the most diverse reasons, are unable to demonstrate these social cues.
We all know someone like that. Moreover, it is curious that this behavior, far from being somewhat isolated, is seen with some frequency. Most of us have a family member, colleague or classmate, who we have helped on several occasions and who has responded coldly or even with hostility.
- These are situations that often put us in an uncomfortable and painful position.
- In fact.
- Many times.
- Without having to wait for an effusive “thank you”.
- We end up finding people who are not satisfied with our actions.
- In addition.
- They may come to believe that each other’s effort or sacrifice was simply an obligation.
- This is exactly what they expected.
These kinds of dynamics in our relationships generate a certain sense of guilt, we wonder why we were so naive to do something for the person, well, we have to give up the feeling of guilt to understand something very simple: the problem is in Ingratitude has a number of specific psychological origins, which we will discuss below.
“Is gratitude the memory of the heart? -Lao-tset-
There are people who do not appreciate and people who thank us all the time, practically anything, are two opposing positions with which we live and who often attract our attention, however, as the psychologist Pinhas Berger of Tel Aviv University points out, those who are unable to pronounce the word “thank you” lose their potential to create satisfactory relationships and even to realize themselves as people.
Those who do not thank (for not wanting or not wanting or not knowing how) end up invalidating or otherwise weighing the positive efforts and gestures of others. And something like that creates impact. Gradually they end up getting what they project themselves: mistrust and hostility, but why are they doing this?What’s behind people who don’t thank you?
In a study by Dr. Pinhas Berger, mentioned above, several interesting things arise, the first is that there is the possibility of reversing such behaviors, in reality these profiles have multiple gaps that can be filled, both emotionally and socially. However, first we must know the origin of these dynamics, these would be some of the causes:
This first data is important. The authors of this book recommend differentiating people who can sometimes show some ingratitude, from those who always exhibit this type of gesture.
Another factor we can consider is lack of education, are there, in fact, people who have not learned to thank the little things in their daily lives?They have not been taught to be cordial, kind, or to use these basic prosocial behaviors. every day of life.
Thus, although they are sometimes aware that they may have to strive to improve, generating change takes a lot of effort and, moreover, being kind overnight would be too far from their essence, so they never manage to take a step. Go ahead.
However, sometimes, in addition to the lack of education, social skills are also lacking, other aspects to consider are: not knowing how to communicate and not striving to practice cordiality, as well as not expressing a minimum of reciprocity.
Many people who don’t appreciate it don’t just because they don’t see or appreciate the right things, their glasses are very dark, their heart is cold and their brain is very imperfect in emotional intelligence. for example, that we try every day to make their lives easier.
They don’t know everything we do because that’s what they want from us, this lack of empathy and emotional coldness becomes chronic until we reach dysfunctional states, so they can become more demanding and hostile, if at some point, we refuse to make other concessions, they can react negatively.
Dr. Pinhas Berger says it is possible to reverse this behavior, that is, through a program based on social skills and emotional management, it would be possible to improve these uncomfortable and insensitive behaviors.
However, we know that for someone who did not practice the art of kindness, going overnight is not easy, anyone who is not grateful for a glass of water, even when we pick up something that has fallen to the ground. , nor will he be grateful for our sacrifices and concessions.
Without a doubt it is a very complex issue in which each person is a universe, in any case what we do know is that these behaviors generate discord, frustration and discomfort, so we must try to measure what we are doing for the ungrateful. We need to assess whether it’s worth it or not and, above all, avoid reproducing your behavior.
Thanking is the noblest and easiest act of recognizing the other, it means giving visibility, thanking for what it is and for what it does, we must not forget this and we must practice this exercise daily.