Are there few things as exhausting as the need and need to be loved, the obsessive hope of always receiving something in return, even if they are leftovers?People who need to be loved above all, or who are willing to sacrifice everything, are, too. those who will always be content with less than they deserve, who will seek affection in the wrong places.
It is the same story as always, we already know it, maybe we already live it, we overcome it and we leave it behind, this lack becomes evident in the phrases we hear in our daily life, whether at a dinner with friends, during a consultation. with a psychologist or on the subway at 8 o’clock, like the classic ??But I just want to be loved!?
- “Then it’s best for everyone to plant their own garden and decorate their own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring them flowers.
- “Jorge Luus Borges?.
It can be said that there is no point in challenging and arguing: “You can always have someone who loves you: is that someone yourself?When a person does not know how to love himself, the emptiness is so great and the need is urgent, blind. “and desperate. The lack weighs more than the patience to sit with that person reflected in the mirror, talk to him and convince him that nothing makes sense if there is no self-esteem.
This is undoubtedly one of our biggest psychologically and emotionally outstanding problems, making many people, especially our teens, realize that love cannot exist without need. “Do I love you because I need you? It has its roots in fear, and it is not legitimate. nor healthy Healthy love is the very expression of freedom, personal realization and well-being.
We know the theory, but in our day to day we are distracted, we know that the need to be loved contradicts our personal growth, makes us captive to the wrong people, those to which we adhere, hoping that they will be our salvation, that they give meaning to each of the deficiencies of our hearts and senses.
We know the theory, we read in the books, our knowledge reminds us that we are not on the right path, that the first thing is to love oneself?And yet we relapse and cause further injuries.
But why do these behaviors become chronic?Why, even if they are aware of the mistake, are there those who continue to nurer their need to be loved?Here are some of the reasons.
We all have important needs or aspirations: a good job, a bigger house and even a little luck in this life?Needs? Light or even fun, they rarely generate dependencies or gain depth. We are aware that our day-to-day life would be a little better if we could achieve these aspirations, but they do not become an obsession: we understand them more as desires than as needs.
We need to correct words and live more integrity. Instead of needing to be loved, we want to be loved. We will combine other verbs and approaches. Besides, are we changing our obsession with research?A love, let love find us.
Let fate, chance or life itself bring us closer to this special person while we take care of our inner garden. Seek or find some pleasure in this solitude, without clinging to an impossible ideal, without placing an empty bowl in front of others while waiting to be fed what they can offer us.
Therefore, let us take care of our self-esteem by feeding on gratitude and affection, our self-esteem prevents us from mistreating ourselves or letting others mistreat us, from giving up our dignity to feel loved.
Images courtesy of Amanda Cass.