Perfect children do not always smile, nor do they know the sound of happiness: they are afraid to make mistakes and never reach the high expectations of their parents, their education is not based on freedom or recognition, but on the authority of a rigid and demanding voice.
According to the APA (American Psychological Association), depression in adolescents is already a very serious problem today, and excessive demand from parents can easily lead to low self-esteem, anxiety and high emotional discomfort.
- Education must always be the basis of happiness.
- Self-knowledge.
- Not a pattern based solely on perfectionism where children’s rights are totally vetily vetily vetied.
It should be noted that this demand for childhood leaves its irreversible mark on the adult brain: the person never feels sufficiently competent, nor perfect, based on the ideals that have been instilled in him. bond that vetastes our ability to be happy.
We often hear that we live in a culture that bases our education on lack of effort, permissiveness and little resistance to frustration, yet this is not entirely true: in general, and more in times of crisis, do parents seek excellence?In your children.
If a child gets a 7 in math, he is pushed to reach a 10. Their afternoons are full of extracurricular classes and their free time is limited to looking for more skills, resulting in stress, exhaustion and vulnerability.
? The Privilege Award is an interesting book published by dr. Madeleine Levine, where she explains how, in our need for parents to raise perfect and fit children for the future, what we manage to do is raise children “disconnected from happiness. “
To educate is to be able to exercise your authority with love, to guide your steps safely and lovingly because childhood is a reserve fund for life.
There is one thing that we must consider very carefully, we can educate our children in the culture of effort, we can and must demand, no doubt, but everything has a limit, this barrier, which must be impassable, is to accompany the demand for an unconditional emotional mattress.
Otherwise, our perfect children will be sad children who will show the following dimensions:
Is the need to educate?The pressure of demand will always accompany them, and more so if their education is based on the absence of positive stimuli and affections.
It is clear that as mothers, as parents, we want our children to succeed, but above all it is their happiness, no one wants them to develop depression in adolescence or to be so demanding with themselves that they do not know what it is like. afford to enjoy, smile or make mistakes.
At this stage, it is necessary to know the difference between education based on the strictest requirement and this creation based on understanding and emotional connection with our children.
To conclude: educating is exercising authority, but with common sense, uses affection as an antidote and communication as a strategy.
Our children are not “ours”, they are children of the world who must be able to choose for themselves, with the right to make mistakes and to learn, with the obligation to reach maturity, without heart and with their own dreams to achieve.