Sometimes I feel like I’m going to fall, that I’m falling, and I think if I’m stronger than all this, if I’ve already overcome worse things, if my friend has a worse personal situation and is always optimistic?but the truth is another: we are projects animated by emotions, so sometimes I think I feel bad and there is no reason to be rational, and I cry, I cry a lot, to see if the wounds heal with tears. Ice. Or with hugs and, in fact, sometimes it does.
But in others? I find nothing to soothe the disgust I feel inside and I urge those who love me that it is not their fault and that it is not, they can do nothing, just be, sometimes it is more than doing something. . I feel frustrated and angry, because yes, psychologists are a kind of surveyor and we make maps for others to find the key to their happiness. That doesn’t mean we necessarily have them for ourselves. As they say, “in the blacksmith, stick skewer. “
Have you ever felt that way?
Meta emotion is an emotion that happens with recognition of another emotion, such as when you feel guilty about being angry with a friend. Do you really have reason to feel that way? If your answer is no, it’s perfect, you don’t have to keep reading if you don’t want to, but, as is normal, most of us think we would, otherwise we wouldn’t feel that way. If this is your case and you want to know what to do, now we will see how to identify and manage these kinds of emotions.
The thing is, it’s normal for an emotion to excite other emotions, the real problem is not knowing how to identify and channel these meta-emotions, if they start interfering in our lives and in our usual way of acting. for many parents who feel guilty about feeling happy.
That I am talking about Families who have been affected by the crisis have been forced to survive longer than to live and, therefore, recreation is absolutely essential, let alone if there are children in the middle. What causes that? That when the main caregivers of this family unit have a space to disconnect (go to the game with friends, have coffee with colleagues?) Or a need (like a sweater, going to the hairdresser’s) why do they omit it because?Are there other priorities? And if they decide to do these activities, they often end up feeling guilty about having experienced pleasure. The same is true when you have a sick relative.
Just knowing that an experience was not positive is positive. I call it “natural disasters. ” It is all these inevitable, very negative and painful vital events that change people. They’re changing, incredibly, forever. It is true that sometimes it seems that life tests us and you wonder “what have I done to deserve this?”
The worst part is that there’s often no answer, you’ve done nothing to deserve it, but a family member gets sick, gets fired from your job, or you’re in a serious traffic accident. you’ll never be the same again, and you don’t know how to get on with this one?New me ?. In yourself, not for those around you, who notice that you have changed and that you are out of the ordinary, the pain is still there, but I am already eating something that is part of you, you have already taken it and you know that it does not go away, but at the same time, you are able to see the good and feel good.
They’re natural disasters because you can’t prevent them, they’ve destroyed everything you knew, and now that they’re history, there’s still a very visible trace of the damage they’ve caused, we all have our own natural disasters. No one is safe from them, but only you decide what to do when one day it hits.
In 2011, in his 365 days, only 6 minutes of all those days left a void in the lives of many people around the world. The tsunami in Japan left 15,893 dead, 172 injured and 8,405 missing. There were two very different reactions among the people who went through this experience. On the one hand, those who fear and fear the sea for the rest of their lives, but on the other hand, are the ones who have managed to integrate this event into their life experience.
Stop, breathe and think. . . life is full of cycles that we must complete and close, no one has a perfect life, everything happens. Not only that, we need difficult times to really understand how important it is to enjoy the crest of the wave when we are at our highest point.
So how can you finish these cycles? Well, the answer to that question leads me to a book I read a while ago that has absolutely nothing to do with what a typical self-help manual is. The book is about how to advise people to say goodbye to terminally ill patients who are aware of their condition. Well, it all comes down to four sentences: sorry, I forgive you, I love you and thank you.
Well, now you’re wondering what to do with this information if you’re not in a terminal illness process. You can say these four sentences to the person or situation that won’t let you move on. That is recognizing our mistakes and those of others, but also their good side, recognizes your appreciation for that person or smiles at this stage of your life and is grateful to have lived the experience.
Forgiveness does not dispense, but it allows you to let go of what is holding you back and offers you the opportunity to see yourself or others as much more complex and rich entities, it no longer affects you, move on. The book tells the story of a woman who forgave her father, by whom she had been abused as a child, on her deathbed.
We are human, we make mistakes, and forgiving life and yourself for those moments or decisions that you are not proud of and integrating them into your past, without feeling uncomfortable about it, is one of the most beautiful challenges that exist. It is these people who will make personal disaster a highlight of their lives and personalities, and they will return. They’ll look at the sea face to face again and say, “I’m still here. “
No one can choose a natural disaster, but we can choose to flee or go fortified. Mine started a while ago and I wouldn’t change anything that has happened to me since then, which even prompted me to write here.
Recommended readings: Ansa, R. J. , Party, J. P. N.