Imagine this scene. A girl falls in love with a boy. The feeling is mutual and everything seems to be going well. After a while, the boy begins to feel anxious, nervous and to focus only on the girl’s shortcomings. When she invites him to dinner with his parents, he has a panic attack, his heart races, and he can no longer breathe.
Suddenly, he decides to break up. What happened?
Does this guy look like he’s suffering from phylophobia?
Phylophobia is nothing more than the irrational fear of falling in love with someone. In more severe cases, it can also include love for friends and family.
Phylophobia is not the normal nervousness that occurs when a person falls in love with someone, it’s not just butterflies in the stomach. Fear is so intense that it triggers various defense mechanisms, these people manifest discomfort, nervousness and anxiety when exposed to situations that can create some kind of bond or affection.
Like the child in our story, the most common defense mechanism used by people with this disorder is to find fault with their partner, and he uses these supposed defects as justification for not deepening his feelings.
Many philosophers, not to face their problems of intimacy, cling to impossible and inaccessible loves, and convince the the other that they cannot love, because their love is impossible.
The article Filophobia: Fear of loving theclinic. cl, explains “The idea that your partner will leave you for someone else serves as an excuse not to get involved. “They then provoke fights, usually motivated by jealousy, so that the other person ends when they realize that the relationship is deepening, they withdraw, they do not answer their calls and even find excuses not to meet the partner.
If you’re signed in with this article, it might be time to ask for help. Philphobia is curable. It is possible to overcome this fear. There are several therapies to treat this phobia.
Cognitive therapy will help you understand the thinking that scares you and teach you techniques to change negative thinking patterns into positive ones.
Desensitization therapy is used for all types of phobia. It puts the patient in touch with the object or situation from which he fears, in this case, the romantic relationship. The therapist can use technology to simulate this interaction and prepare the person for real-life situations.
Many have succeeded with neurolinguistic programming, hypnosis and other methods. A mental health professional can help you choose the right therapy for your particular case. Some people are embarrassed when looking for a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist. Why not? These techniques can help us a lot. Improve and overcome your fears.
Don’t let love become a problem. Phylophobia can lead to loneliness and depression. Love is good. You can overcome this fear and feel the joy of loving and being loved.
Image courtesy of bree95