Few things sow as much mistrust as lying. If you ask other people, they’ll tell you that no one likes a liar’s company. However, the truth is that socially we have justified the lie; We know them as pious lies and everyone uses them to some extent.
A university of Massachusetts study found that 60% of adults cannot have a conversation of more than ten minutes without lying.
- This is in case you already know each other.
- Because otherwise.
- If it’s the first time they’ve spoken.
- The average is three lies for the first ten minutes.
It seems that one of the most uncomfortable truths is the fact that human beings have been lying almost since birth.
This study was conducted before the creation of social networks, probably Facebook and Twitter have multiplied this data because they provide a framework in which the opportunities to lie are greater and much more widespread.
While many accuse digital media of being responsible for lies, the truth is that they have simply amplified the human will to tell them.
Psychologist Paul Ekman, an expert in the study of facial expressions, has already warned us that lying is one of the central characteristics of life.
Almost as soon as children learn to speak, they begin to use words to deceive, they begin with the simplest lies that unfold between the two and three years, reaching three or four years old, which can develop much more sophisticated lies.
In developmental psychology, although this seems to be a contradiction, it is seen as a sign of social intelligence.
Children, and many adults, naturally face pious lies, which are seen as mere harmless instructions to protect their feelings and those of others, let’s say they could be treated like the lubricant that softens the gear that makes the company work.
It seems that as human beings, we do not differentiate ourselves by telling truths or lies, the degree and kind of lies we tell is what really sets us apart.
From a “I’m fine,” when we’re not really right, to an excuse to be late, get to the cruellest and most interested lie: we have a wide range of degrees and types of lies.
It seems that the need to meet the expectations of others is what drives human beings to lie, and we also live, grow and educate in pure contradiction.
We tell the children not to lie, while we insist that they claim to be happy with their grandmother’s birthday present, even if they don’t like it.
Our society could collapse if we couldn’t trust the people around us not to lie, but society probably couldn’t sustain itself if we always told the truth.
There are people who, in addition to using pious lies, adorn their lives with an endless series of anecdotes, facts or stories invented or false, that do not correspond to reality.
These are people who have become addicted to their own fantastic stories because they are deeply insecure. Usually, the only victims of such lies are themselves. They’re compulsive liars.
This type of liar is beginning to be considered a different species. Cold and calculating, their lies contain specific, generally selfish goals and interests that are manipulative and cunning lies.
These kinds of lies, unlike pious lies, are used by people who base their lives on them, their mistakes negatively affect others and cause profound harm to victims.
Thanks to some studies, we now know that pathological liars have more white matter in the prefrontal area of the brain; generally speaking, white matter is linked to faster connections, greater flow of thought and greater verbal fluency.
In addition, they struggle with empathy and little activity in the areas responsible for emotions.
Nobody feels good lying and most of us don’t like lying. We use pious lies to protect ourselves or others. Or that’s what we all want to believe.
In the end, above dogmas or maxims, everyone is forced to face an internal debate about the truth, opting for a position sensitive to circumstances.