While socially we do not have a stereotype of possessive and controlling man, there are certain common characteristics and attitudes that we can use to define them, however, it is important to consider that they can be very different individuals in social terms. economic situation, age, training, religious beliefs, political tendencies and education.
Well, beyond the features we’ll explain later, almost all agree on how to start a relationship and maintain it through behaviors of domination and authority, sometimes these behaviors are disguised as subtle and kind gestures, but other times they are executed without any behavior. Scruples. The point is, they gradually create a prison in which they imprison the other person.
- The first signs of alarm are the negatives.
- Contempt and rejections addressed to the companion disguised as false modesty.
- With the excuse that they are only warnings to improve.
- Accompanied by questions about every detail of everyday life.
The problem is that, little by little, the victim loses her identity and stops giving importance to any behavior that causes her pain and suffering, while she begins to measure each of the words she utters to please.
At the beginning of the relationship, it may be normal for the couple to show concern about the activities that occupy their daily lives, send messages on their mobile phone or call several times during the day, but where is the limit?
Danger arises at a time when the desire to know the other person becomes an obsession, and interest becomes pure control. What happens is that the dominant personality is not usually evident at the beginning of the relationship, but over time it begins to emerge.
Although this type of behavior can occur in both men and women, in this article we will focus on the traits and characteristics that describe possessive and controlling men, individuals full of insecurity and distrust.
“Defend your life, fight for your independence, seek your happiness and learn to love yourself. “Izaskun Gonzalez?
The possessive and controlling man is characterized by an obsessive personality. He tries to control everything around him and always seems to take a defensive stance. He gets angry easily and sometimes tries to contain his aggression.
The obsession with controlling at all times the whereabouts of the couple, with whom he speaks, or the friendships he has becomes the main part of the relationship, even if she has told him what he will do or where they will meet, he will try to prove it. continually, whether through her or her family and friends, to confirm that what she says is the truth.
It is important to consider that each of us is a free person and that no one has the right to decide who to date and what to wear, because it would be disrespectful, in addition to suppressing our freedom.
Jealousy is born in response to deep feelings of self-insecurity and mistrust, so it usually happens when someone feels that each other’s love is in danger, or when they feel the fear of no longer being each other’s focus. loved, even if this is not true, that is, the jealous person is generally afraid of abandonment, in addition to chronic emotional dependence and insecurity.
Although most people are able to put this feeling into perspective, possessive men often have many difficulties in controlling themselves, so jealousy will eventually dominate and express it through criticism, control and, in some cases, even aggressive behaviors.
A possessive and controlling man, in addition to calling and texting several times a day, is often angry when the woman does not respond immediately. If this happens at the beginning of a relationship, it is recommended to talk about it; if you still can’t understand, the recommendation is to walk away. If this happens in a stable relationship, it’s a good idea to talk about it or consult a psychologist.
The important thing is to know that the mobile phone is very personal and that no one should control our calls and messages, because they are part of our privacy.
Staying in communication is important, but when connections are persistent, it can be a kind of abuse to know where you are, who you are and what you do at all times.
The coexistence with a possessive and controlling man is practically unbearable, as he can come to dominate and nullify the other person.
He has a sense of belonging, treats the other person as his property and believes he has the power to decide on him without consulting him, which often leads to situations of psychological violence, even the victim may have serious problems seeing reality objectively because of his self-deception.
The important thing in these cases is to eliminate the concept of loving possession, as well as the belief that jealousy is a demonstration of that feeling. Love has nothing to do with property, necessity or control; it has to do with freedom, respect and trust. Therefore, it is important to establish certain boundaries in relationships.
They need to appreciate you as you are, but above all you have to appreciate and respect them.
Generally, possessive and controlling men will encourage their loving companion to abandon their activities, hobbies, and friendships, wanting to prevent him from having interests he can’t control.
In extreme cases, possessive men can come up with verbal or physical aggression so that the other person behaves and does what he expects and desires, in these situations the most important thing is to seek help, both professionally and legally, as soon as possible. .
Finally, we must not forget that, in a relationship, love, respect and the desire to help another person grow must be paramount.