Do you know what we’re talking about when we talk about healthy self-demand, in each of us lives a kind of voice more commonly known as internal criticism, which is dedicated to evaluating, questioning and reflecting on everything we do. to help us progress and continue to grow; the problem is when, to achieve your goal, you become very demanding, and instead of encouraging us to progress, you keep us stuck in our comfort zone.
Have you ever felt like you’re so picky about yourself that instead of getting better, you stagnate and lower your self-esteem?If yes, you’ll find practical tips in this article to keep your critic under control and practice healthily. self-demand.
- In general.
- It is a question of getting to know each other better so that they can be demanded better and better without the emotional exhaustion that requires strict control of perfection.
- Let’s go further.
The first step in practicing healthy self-demand is to work on your frustration tolerance level. This means that you accept that the changes are normal and happen every day. Something that doesn’t go the way you want or think doesn’t mean “everything’s wrong,” even if you’re sorry. In other words, to be more tolerant of frustration, you must struggle with emotional reasoning (think about how you feel without properly analyzing reality).
Also, if you want to improve your tolerance to frustration, you need to change the language and words you choose to shape your feelings, it’s about transforming your thoughts and using more flexible language, for example, you can replace defeatist, dramatic and catastrophic words with words that help put them into perspective. With this exercise, you will use the power of language in your favor.
One of the best ways to practice healthy self-demand is to start applying it to people in their nearest environment. To do this, you must think about your level of demand with others, if you encourage them to overcome or, on the contrary, punish them if they are not up to the task. That’s why it’s so important to balance what you ask others to do, because taking them out of their comfort zone is a good thing, as long as you don’t force them to reach your panic or fear zone. .
On the other hand, it is important that you stop tagging others because they meet your expectations or not. Doing this exercise will prevent you from using labels with yourself.
“We complain about our friends because we ask them for more than they can give. “Santiago Ramón y Cajal.
In this sense, empathy is a fundamental skill to practice a healthy demand with you and with others. Think about how others feel when they don’t reach their goals, think about how you feel when things don’t go the way you’d like. Don’t get addicted, learn to take a break before creating a difficulty from scratch.
Always remember what you’re looking for and why. Above all, think: what are the consequences of my requests ?, if your level of personal demand generates discomfort, conflicts with your family, co-workers or partner, it is time to be more flexible and set goals.
In the long run, it won’t be worth being so fussy about yourself, so to practice a healthy demand for yourself, you need to balance the moments of well-being, pleasure and relaxation in your daily life. it can be work, obligations and perfection.
So moments of disconnection should be one of your priorities, whether you fulfill all your obligations or not, do you need these moments of affection?So a good exercise to lessen your need and make it healthy is to take mental breaks, this means that at least every hour you need to move, drink water, divert attention from your activities and focus on your personal needs. a means, not an end.
“A machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. But isn’t there a machine that can do the work of an extraordinary man?-Elbert Hubbard-
Remember that personal demand should help you take steps beyond your comfort zone; if it keeps you within your limits and doesn’t allow you to move forward for fear of failure, it’s not healthy, it’s up to you to put an end to it, if you accept a little more and are more flexible.
If you’re trying to change your requirements level and can’t do it yourself, ask for help. There is a world of highly trained psychology professionals to help you be a healthier version of yourself.