Accepting a review is as difficult as receiving praise, in fact, there are people who feel very uncomfortable when they receive a nice comment, this is partly due to cultural aspects: we have been brought up on demand, to the fact that we have to do everything right. and the understanding that it has no merit.
Moreover, the fact that praise and criticism have great power over our self-esteem is very dangerous, because it means that we leave everything, others. When we receive praise, the message of admiration can increase confidence in ourselves so much that we can “get drunk. “On the other hand, when we receive destructive criticism, the opposite is true: there is a morbid tendency to discredit us, to offend us. .
- He thinks that in any task you can win or lose.
- The important thing is the nobility of the resources used.
- The really important thing is the dignity with which we walk the way in pursuit of our goals.
- Accepting constructive criticism of our environment facilitates adaptation to different situations.
- While praise can weaken us.
- Leading to diminishing our efforts in flattered qualities.
Evaluation is part of every human being‘s thinking, in our culture we are used to paying more attention to the negative than to the positive, we see failures and problems more easily than qualities and opportunities.
Each person responds to criticism in a different way, we think it depends on whether the criticism is constructive or destructive, but it is not quite the case, even criticism of two different people can provoke completely opposite reactions and emotions.
Sometimes the way we receive criticism does not depend on what they tell us, but on what we think about it, regardless of the criticism and the person who makes it, the difference is in the person who receives it, the importance and interpretation we give him. give, both to the words and gestures we receive and to the person who transmits them.
In order for praise not to cause us to fall into the trap of vanity, it is important to praise the particular activity or behavior, not the person, the way we praise can affect the other person’s thinking and, therefore, their propensity to take on challenges. , persevere and succeed. There are two particular mindsets: fixed and growing.
On the other hand, if we are the ones who receive the compliment, we think it has a positive component, since it reaffirms the work well done, providing information that says that the course is correct. There are authors who tell us that we live to be recognized, and we cannot deny that for some people this seems to be true. In addition, for some people praise can be the basis of pride, which can over-distort the reality of the environment and the value of their own actions.
To reinforce someone with a compliment, it is best to formulate concrete facts or results, generalizations of this type are of little use, do you do it very well? Or how smart are you ?. Better to say, I liked the way you solved this particular problem or ‘did you work very well to achieve your assigned goal, even if you knew you didn’t like the task?
Just as just highlighting the negative creates frustration, saying that only the positive generates comfort. The problem with most of us is that we’d rather ruin ourselves with praise than save ourselves with criticism.