Limit Personality Disorder (TLP) is a diagnostic entity that encompasses a variety of symptoms such as impulsivity, emotional instability, low self-esteem and feeling of emptiness, in addition to these manifestations, which are the most typical, there are others that, although not listed as such in the diagnostic criteria, are usually present in most patients. One of these elements is destructive pride.
TLP patients are usually people with very high sensitivity. The emotional pain they feel from events that, for most people, would simply be uncomfortable, is very intense and overwhelming.
- As a protective mechanism.
- People with TLP decide to disguise themselves as “false self-esteem.
- “With this costume they continue to imply that they have the absolute truth and that others are wrong.
In fact, what lies under this mask is a deep fear that someone might harm them with a different opinion or contradiction.
As a result, they try to convince others that their views are incorrect and frustrated when they cannot change or correct that perspective. Basically, they cannot tolerate contrary opinions because they cannot be flexible in that regard.
The medium sees them as people with airs of superiority who try to impose their vision of reality, without letting others express themselves freely, which, of course, ends up alienating friends and family.
These costumes usually hide wounds from the past, especially from childhood. TLP patients often have very unhappy childhood stories.
When they were little, they felt that their parents ignored them, left them alone, and even criticized them too harshly. Therefore, this search for constant self-esteem through the devaluation of others originates from childhood episodes in which they were devalued.
The child can assimilate a highly critical environment in many ways, and some seek to compensate for this sense of humiliation with the mask of destructive pride.
It’s a way of projecting, without words, the idea that no one will ever hurt them like they did when they were kids.
In this sense, it is important that the BPD patient understands that this adult who has grown up full of pride and hostility is only a wounded and imprisoned child, anger does not allow the wounds of the past to heal, it is only a bandage that is removed . all the time.
Understanding where TPL’s destructive pride comes from is just a starting point, you need to do constant and hard work in the present, some strategies can help you combat this destructive pride.
One of the techniques is to ask for letters, WhatsApp messages in general, knowledge that tells the patient certain positive and negative qualities that he thinks he has.
Generally, the need for self-affirmation is always related to the lack of active listening to the opinions of others.
So is this technique trying to make the patient present without the other person being in front of him, present?Ask yourself things like, isn’t it funny that five people have the same impression on me?Why can’t I tolerate someone who has a different vision of me, what lessons can I learn for my own benefit?
The idea is for the patient to question his strict and absolutist judgment, and begin to rethly that perhaps other people may have different opinions and that this can help him learn.
Impromptu everyday situations are another aspect of work on pride, the goal is for patients to become aware of the mental and body activation they usually experience (tension, rumia, accelerated breathing, etc. ) when they receive criticism.
Once this step is taken, the second goal will be to wait a few minutes before giving an answer.
When successful, it is important not to start a conversation with aggressive or tense body language, the face should remain relaxed, with a slight smile, maintaining eye contact, but without intimidating, it is also not good to move the arms or legs in excess. , or speak quickly or imperatively.
The patient can respond using phrases that begin with “I think/think/think ??”, and even try to find something in common with the review “I agree with you on that”. Absolutist tones and constant speech should be avoided.
Of course, total disapproval of the other person is not desirable, even if we do not agree with them.
If the TLP patient strives to respect this process, they will see how other people will begin to identify differently with it, be more empathetic, more receptive, and more willing to spend time with it.