Every human being needs an environment that offers protection, the human being has moments of fragility and understands, in addition to reason, that needs to be protected, is a fundamental necessity that has existed from our birth and accompanies us to death.
The desire and the need to be protected do not always have the same intensity, obviously both become stronger when we are in a state of obvious vulnerability, when we get sick or when we are in an unknown environment, for example. when we face a risky situation.
- The basic need to be protected also increases when our emotional state is fragile.
- Although there is no external risk.
- In times of insecurity.
- Despair or distress increases the need for people and circumstances that make us feel protected.
- Deep down.
- We all know.
- That.
- However.
- Do we really sow and strengthen these protective presences and bonds in our lives?.
“The real measure of justice in a system is the level of protection that guarantees the most vulnerable. “Aung San Suu Kyi-
In fact, it’s one thing to be protected and another to feel protected, sometimes the two realities go hand in hand. Sometimes not, feeling protected means having the subjective certainty that you have support to get out of situations where your own strength is not enough, being protected has to do with something more concrete, it refers to the activation of these means.
Do you feel protected?it is a very comforting feeling, born in the first years of our life and depends to a large extent on our mother or who replaces it, it is in these early stages that we are printed a protective mark, or the lack of it.
The presence of the mother or a reference character who cares for us conveys a sense of omnipotence in these early stages, it is as if nothing could happen to us. Of course anything can happen, but we don’t believe it, the same goes for the other way around. If there’s an absence from this mother, it’s as if the whole universe threatens. The feeling, or part of it, is recorded in the way we relate to others and the world in the following years.
When someone grows up feeling protected, they learn to trust others and themselves; one consequence of this is that the person can easily establish intimate and emotional relationships with others; on the other hand, if a person bears the no-protection mark, it will be much harder for them to overcome the fear of emotionally engaging with others.
The non-protection mark also makes it difficult to find a balance in how to protect others, or there is a certain oversight in this care that can be given to the other, or there is still excessive jealousy.
In the same way, it can lead us to create armor in front of the world, this armor replaces the protection that has not been received, we look for environments that are not threatening and there we take refuge refusing to leave, a job, an addiction, a couple or a couple?What can I do not to feel this feeling of danger?The price, however, is very high.
If we carry this weight from the feeling that we have not been sufficiently protected, that does not mean that nothing can be done, on the contrary: there is much to be done. The first thing is to realize that we carry that void and that it makes us more sensitive to fear, insecurity and introversion. It takes courage not to consume it, but it is possible.
It is important to recognize the importance of building protective relationships with others. Give what you don’t have. Sometimes you only learn when you need to teach, that’s what happens with that feeling of being protected, if you learn to protect others it’s quite possible that the void weighs less and also that you reach the reciprocity of others.
Therefore, it is necessary to develop routines, ways of life, that allow it to eradicate that feeling of exclusion that so often accompanies those who have not been sufficiently protected. Being part of a stable group also becomes a way to increase the meaning of life. trust in the world.
Building a fortress around you and isolating yourself is not a good idea, this will not make you feel safer on your own skin, nor will it make you feel protected, on the contrary. Your fears and reserves will only grow. As scary as it is, you have to open the doors and let the sun in!