Many of the psychological games we use in our relationships are the result of our way of life, an emotional and behavioral pattern that we develop in childhood under the influence of our parents and that has accompanied us for many years.
The scenario of life and psychological games in the couple are overlapping phenomena, it is these psychological games that determine how we spend our time in relationships and end up shaping the story of the couple.
- The scenario of life (scenario) is a term coined by psychiatrist Eric Berne.
- Founder of the Transactional School.
- And refers to the role we play in our relationship with others.
- As if we were playing in a play.
- Developed because it has been delivered to us and ends up becoming a mask that we are not aware of.
- In addition.
- We often strengthen this way of life through experience.
It acts as a brand that has put us at an early age and will guide our lives, unless we realize it and work to change it.
“People were born princes and princesses, until their parents turned them into frogs. “Eric Berne.
In adulthood, and when we relate to others, the scenario of the couple’s life is defined by the psychological games that the couple uses to get involved according to the scenario of each other’s lives.
Psychological games determine how to live the relationship. They fill the life of the couple because it is with these games that they both occupy the time they spend together, it is a very destructive form of exchange. In these psychological games there are scripts of submission, domination and isolation.
One member of the couple becomes a victim and demands the protection of the other, if he does not realize or does not receive the protection and attention he needs from the other, that is, if the manipulation does not work, angry attacks occur and the scenario begins the persecution and guilt of the couple.
This variant of the submission script can be short-lived because it jeopardizes the relationship. The victim’s scenario resumes rapidly and the cycle continues, increasingly escalating, giving way to increasing aggression.
In couples who spend their time in psychological domination games, one of them plays the role of dominating or chasing, it is a scenario based on the exercise of power and competition with the other, the person does so to impose their values Criteria and opinions. This member of the couple must prove that he is the boss, not the other.
At times in the game when the dominator loses, insecurity quickly appears, will he become hostile to the point of?Keep the defeat for a later rematch, it’s a psychological game that ends up exhausting the relationship.
These couples develop the psychological game of staying away from emotional commitments, controlling their indifference and coldness until one of them needs to get close, which usually happens during passionate sexual encounters, and leaves with any excuse, whether it’s a fight or a job. It’s a back-and-go relationship.
Finally, to point out that changing these life scenarios and ending the psychological games of the couple is a process that involves recognizing them and wanting to change them, otherwise these psychological games will lead to the separation of the couple.