The help of psychologists is very important and necessary, however, there are still many unfounded beliefs/myths/expectations that tarnish the true purpose of consulting these professionals. But we can’t go wrong anymore. Psychologists don’t work miracles.
Many people are disappointed when they turn to these professionals, it is true that each of us must find the psychologist that suits you best, the therapy that best suits our needs and look a little at the specialty of the therapist we go to. On the other hand, it is important that we have an open mind and the will to work: we will achieve it, whatever the goal, and it is the psychologist who will help us.
“You choose where and decide how long, because your path is your business. -Jorge Bucay-
It is true that psychologists do not perform as many miracles as we all wish, they will not put you on a stretcher and they will not have surgery, they will not have anesthesia and they will need your participation, in addition to consulting a psychologist can become a scenario to which “no one would want to return”. Mainly because psychologists feel uncomfortable, either asking questions, asking the patient to observe with a different point of view from the one that dominates the situation that ails him, making him see his share of responsibility in what is happening and return responsibility of any decision to make.
It is quite possible for many people to come to a psychologist’s office by lamenting and feeling victimized, and therefore believe that the therapist is trying to take away the protection that shelters them so much, for example, if a person goes to the appointment because their partner is unfaithful and the psychologist asks them, “And why do you continue in this relationship?”, you can receive this incorrectly and answer as follows , as if it were obvious, “because I love you. “
However, as therapy progresses, this person may encounter resistance and reject “no help. “Who do you think the therapist gives it to you because you didn’t find what you wanted to hear?Maybe you’d like a magic formula for your partner to stop. be unfaithful or an endorsement of your own behavior. But when he realizes that one option, the most viable and going through his head, is to break the relationship, he endures all his frustration and denial at such an outcome.
The psychologist makes the person think about their situation to reach their own conclusions, when they do not correspond to their wishes or when the observation of reality hurts it is very likely that they will be rejected and not return to the consultation.
Many times our intention, when we go to the psychologist, is for someone to tell us that we are right or to give us a magic formula so that a situation we are going through resolves as we wish. However, this is unrealistic and often responds to fears and insecurities. The psychologist may help relieve pain, but he will not be able to revive the lost person.
It is important that we are aware not only of the role of the psychologist, but also of the role we have as patients in the consultation, to begin with, as we have already said, psychologists do not work miracles, they are to listen. , provides tools and opens the possibilities field when reduced.
A psychologist will never tell us what to do or decide for us. However, we may have to exercise our self-esteem, work with our insecurities, or overcome a certain fear; i. e. to end some kind of blockade, it’s the work of psychologists. Provide the tools to feel better about yourself, increase our safety and self-esteem, deal with fears, improve the way we relate to others.
This does not mean that we have to work on decision-making in therapy, there are different very effective strategies for this, the psychologist can serve as a means to organize ideas or to delve into the different hypothetical situations that we face, does not tell us what to do and in many cases it will not tell us what it would do for us, simply because it does not.
In any case, this does not make your role less valuable and indispensable, because with your help this decision will probably end up being easier or less expensive to leave everything we have lost by choosing one option over others. you have to take the step. We know what we have to do, we are aware of what would improve us, we just have to make a decision and implement it without fear, now we have the tools to do it.