If we take a moment to think about what attracts us from the people we love, many questions will arise What brought us closer to our partner?What helps us maintain this relationship?Why do we fall in love?
We will probably not be able to adequately answer these questions, because generally affection arises without us notion, however, social psychology refers us to some data on the psychological ingredients that promote attraction.
Aristotle said that “personal beauty is a better recommendation than any cover letter. “
To understand the psychological chemistry that brings us together with the people we love, we find three main ingredients that make us feel attracted to them, see them with good eyes and feel emotionally close.
Before a relationship begins, two people must be united, be close to someone, and feel it present in our lives makes us feel great affection for them.
According to the researchers, physical closeness is very important at the beginning of a relationship, as it fosters a sense of familiarity and safety and makes us feel comfortable with the people around us.
This emotional response is due to the exposure effect, which helps us determine what is familiar, safe, accessible and desirable. That is, over time, the mere presence of these PEOPLE makes us feel “TO THE HOUSE”.
It’s not just physical and emotional closeness; it is also necessary to combine other ingredients, such as physical attraction, to materialize the union of two souls.
Physical appearance is not the only ingredient considered for the physical attraction, sincerity, intelligence and personality of people to occur positively, some studies show that physical appearance is not the most important thing.
This can be disconcerting, but the physical aspect affects us at first, when we meet someone, in fact, through physical appearance, we evaluate whether the person is happy, sensitive or sociable, in this sense, the more attractive a person is, we attribute more psychological qualities to them (to this fact we call it halo effect).
This may seem unfair and petty, but it really isn’t. Because when we meet a person and love living with them, we notice fewer physical imperfections and the physical attraction increases.
As Shakespeare writes in A Summer Night’s Dream, “Love sees not with the eyes, but with the mind. “
“I love you because you’re beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you?” the prince asked Cinderella.
We often observe that love is more lasting when people love each other and have a lot in common, and that we become friends with the people we identify with.
Thinking, feeling and having similar interests unies us. Of course, it is impossible to equal 100%; It would be very annoying and boring, it would be very difficult to live with someone like us.
Proximity, attraction and likeness are not the only ingredients that help us build a relationship, we love the people who love us (especially if we have a negative self-image), with whom we have an affective relationship.
Probably to give a special touch to love, when we meet someone special, we need some intangible ingredients: a mixture of desires, feelings and good energies, this mixture is undoubtedly the secret ingredient that defines the bond between two people.