We live in a society where we measure everything we give and what we receive in return. We spend a lot of time evaluating what the other gives us in exchange for our dedication: we turn reciprocity into currency.
It’ll probably hurt us, because we often get a lot less than we give. We feel aggrieved and dissatisfied with interpersonal relationships. Reciprocity is not a pain if you realize that you can appreciate relationships as well as our dedication to others.
- We serve and expect too much from others.
- At least the same dedication we offer them.
- But this is not always the case.
- It generates suffering.
- Frustration and we feel used.
- Because we are rarely returned as we would like.
Expecting something from others, often in a certain way and in a way, can be a painful disappointment; makes us rething our attitude to keep giving without receiving anything in return.
“Friendship is a reciprocal relationship. “
-Anonymous-
Many times what motivates us to give something to others is the concern for their well-being, we want you to be well, there is nothing missing, etc. In principle, we can say that we don’t want anything in return.
However, when we feel alone and need support, we feel even sadder to see the lack of response When do we need a friendly hand?And no one wants to extend it, we start to think that what we have doesn’t depend on what we give.
Often, even without realizing it, many of our behaviors that aim to please others are generated by the need to receive. We give desperately because we need something in return.
Unconsciously we believe that “if we take care of the other, he will take care of us. “It is an erroneous belief that leads to suffering and conflict in interpersonal relationships. We’ve tried a thousand times that it’s not, but we’re convinced it should be, and we end up suffering.
It is much healthier to take care of yourself without expecting anything from others, this does not mean that we do not help anyone, but we will do so with pleasure, without wanting to please and without the condition of receiving something in return.
Thus, the satisfaction of helping others is the only motivation that drives us, even reciprocity can happen, but it will no longer be torture for us whether or not it happens in a different way than we expect.
“Do I have the right to reciprocity? means to receive with joy what others want to give us. If we expect nothing from anyone, gratitude and satisfaction will be part of our lives.
In this way, we will understand that reciprocity is an act of freedom and that each one decides what he wants to give, when and how, respecting the decisions of others, we can make the most of the benefits of reciprocity.
“Is the ingredient the one that denies the benefit received, the one who hides it ungrateful, the one who doesn’t do it more ungrateful, and the one who forgets it much more ungrateful?
-Lucius Annaeus Soneca-
Everyone decides to do or give something to others, no one owes anything to anyone, we are free and we have no obligation to return.
So let’s stop measuring what others give us; it is your decision. There is no such obligation to give and receive. No one is obliged to return what they have already received.
When we respect the choices of others, we discover another way to understand relationships, however, we often receive many people we didn’t expect and are probably not the same people who have received much from us.
It is the balance of interpersonal relationships; it exists naturally and surprises us at all times: many times we receive a lot and do not give anything or give ourselves too much and receive nothing in return. Reciprocity is an instrument of spontaneous exchange, satisfaction and gratitude.
With the concept of reciprocity well understood, we will feel freer, owners of our decisions, accepting and thanking what others want to give us, enjoying relationships and everything that life gives us.