Life can teach us many things, but it can also cause us pain, rejection is considered one of the greatest emotional damage that people can suffer, if you live in childhood it can have several consequences.
An example of this may be that of children who, for various reasons, have to live with the situation of a father or mother who abandons them, or who rejects them at some point in their childhood, these children can become successful people, being intellectually brilliant, however, they have never been able to reach emotional maturity. They are unsure when it comes to relationships, and mistrust and fear determine many of their behaviors. So how do we deal with all this?
- Nor can we forget the emotional suffering we experience when we are rejected by someone who attracts us.
- Of course.
- In our lives not everything will be a success and achievement.
- But there are people who take longer than others to face rejection.
- For those who seem to stop when they receive a ‘no’.
- Or worse.
- A contempt they cannot forget.
We have to be clear. What others may think of us is one thing, and another is who we really are, can we be rejected in certain areas of our lives: at work, in our relationship?But a rejection should not be a demonstration of our limits. Do not rationalize what happened as an argument to see us as someone who deserves to be alone, as a person with few qualities, without interest or any other negative dimension. No way.
Isn’t it the same to say, I’ve failed, and “I’m a loser. “We must avoid personal assignments. We have to protect ourselves. Life will certainly bring opportunities for many other achievements, accomplishments and opportunities to be happier.
We have the right to live our moments of rejection as a moment of personal crisis, being rejected or abandoned by our partner will require a period of emotional grief on our part, being fired from a job, a separation, the death of a friend or family member, is certainly a moment of pain.
Think of experience as what it is: a loss, a moment of suffering, but this suffering must be temporary and momentary. A moment to reassess the situation, be with yourself and reflect on what happened, in short, learn from experience.
We should learn from all experiences. Above all, what should be avoided is the deconstruction of personal abilities, how?I was rejected because I am not attractive enough, am I not friendly, intelligent, interesting ?, etc. It’s a very painful mistake. There is no doubt that lessons from the experience should be learned: “Should I seek another type of person, simpler, more humble, and less proud. “”I have to find a job where I can make all my skills and merits recognized. “
That is, over a period of time, we feel the pain of rejection, a moment of introspection from which we must emerge stronger and lively enough to “walk” again through life with optimism.
Mindfulness tells us not to run away from what we feel, that we should shape these emotions and know how to describe them. Talk about them. This is necessary to then let them go, we know that we have been rejected, but do not let an apparent failure become an internal wound that prevents you from breathing, which prevents you from moving on.
This person who at some point in his life told him “no” is simply “passed on”. And obligation? To move forward with new forces, new projects and new illusions. We do not have to become victims of those who have caused us conscience or unconsciousness. We must be heroes of ourselves, people capable of learning from our own suffering, people capable of turning pain into guidance, learning, considering a horizon on which we can find dreams.
Don’t let the emotional pain of rejection stop you in the past, life moves forward and we have to move on with it. Happiness can come back to us at any time.
Image courtesy of K. Melrose.