There are wounds that we do not see, but that can stay deep in our souls and live with us for the rest of our lives, are the emotional wounds, the marks of problems lived in childhood and that often condition our quality of life. life will be in adulthood.
One of the deepest emotional wounds is rejection, because those who suffer from it feel rejected internally, interpreting everything that happens around them through the filter of their wound, feeling rejected in situations where, in fact, it is not.
Let’s take a closer look at what this injury is all about
Rejecting means resisting, despising or rejecting, what can result in not loving, something or someone. This injury arises from parents’ rejection of their children or sometimes from their parents’ feeling of rejection, but without actually having any intention on their part.
Faced with the first experiences of rejection, the person begins to create a mask to protect himself from this poignant feeling, which is linked to the devaluation of himself and which is characterized by a shy personality, according to research conducted by Lise Bourbeau. , the first reaction of the person who feels rejected will be to flee, so it is not surprising that children who feel rejected invent an imaginary world.
In case of overprotection, in addition to the superficial facet masked by love, the child thinks that he is rejected for not being accepted as he is, the message is that his skills are not valid and that is why he needs to be protected.
A part of our personality is formed from the emotional wounds suffered in childhood. Therefore, the person who suffers the wound of rejection is characterized by its futility and the pursuit of perfection at all costs. This situation will lead the person to a constant search for recognition on the part of others, a desire that will take time to satisfy himself.
According to Lisa Bourbeau, the injury is caused by the same-sex parent and, in the face of this, the search for love and recognition will be more intense, being very sensitive to any comment that comes from it.
The words “nothing”, “non-existent” or disappear are part of their usual vocabulary, confirming the belief and feeling of rejection so ingrained. In this way, it is normal for the person to prefer loneliness, because if he receives much attention, there is a better chance of despising. If you have to share experiences with more people, will you try to go unnoticed, under the cover you’re building, without saying much?that is, just to diminish its value in front of itself. .
Moreover, she lives in constant ambivalence because when she is chosen she does not believe and reject herself, sabotaging even the situation; and when she is not elected she feels rejected by others. Over time, the person who suffers from this wound and who does not heal can become bad and begin to feel a lot of hatred, the fruit of the intense suffering he has suffered.
The deeper the wound, the more likely it is that others will reject or reject it.
The source of any emotional wound comes from the inability to forgive what others have done to us or what we have done to ourselves.
The deeper the wound of rejection, the greater the rejection of oneself or others, which can be hidden by shame. In addition, there will be a greater tendency to escape, but it is only a mask to protect against the suffering caused by the wound. .
The wound of rejection can be healed by paying special attention to self-esteem, beginning to appreciate and recognize itself, without needing the approval of others. Stop that:
Although we cannot erase the suffering of the past, we can still soothe our wounds and help them heal so that their pain disappears or at least eases, because, as Nelson Mandela said, we are a kind of captain of our souls.