Relational anarchy is a stream of thought that advocates the creation and maintenance of bonds without labels or predefined hierarchies, this form of anarchism seeks to separate intimate relationships from conventional ideas, commitments or traditions, its greatest desire is to free ourselves from what it is. dictated or instituted by society.
This approach aims to create relationships outside the established categories and based solely on the mutual agreement of its components. Relational anarchists follow a lifestyle away from any kind of imposed norm or doctrine, but is it really feasible? How do you understand love and relationships?
- Proponents of this reflection do not distinguish relationships from those that are not.
- Rather than labeling them they prefer to frame all their intimate ties in the idea of “mutual agreement”.
They believe that the fundamental pillar of all their relationships should be trust, only if they are sure that those around them do not intend to harm them will be able to maintain free and unconditional relationships, only if this climax of intimacy and freedom is generated. the relationship is satisfactory. Otherwise, if you are intoxicated by fear, suspicion and doubt, the relationship will become a torment.
Communication is therefore the main vehicle for this link to be appropriate. We currently tend to talk about our feelings when we have a problem. But those who practice relational anarchy advocate constant communication to increase this degree of trust in the other person.
The relational anarchist considers love to be infinite. Therefore, it is not limited to one person or limited to a single form.
Everyone is able to give love to as many people as they wish, without prejudice to any of them, it is based on the idea of appreciating each of their bonds independently, without comparison or variation between them, for these people it seems unthinkable to use preset expressions such as “color friendship”, “are we just friends” or “we are in an open relationship”.
Relational anarchy does not advocate the suppression of commitment, it is quite the opposite. Defends, but only as long as it is the partners themselves who believe in mutual agreement, in this agreement both establish the level and type of commitment they will have, based on the feelings they feel.
This ordering must be created based on the map of values of each one, always keeping in mind the naturalness, consensus, communication and sincere desire to love the other, so there is never room for links, hierarchies or other rules. Conditions are not allowed Links should appear naturally and spontaneously.
Relational anarchy believes that today society imposes how and to whom to love, through laws, rights and obligations determines what to do and what behavior citizens should have at all times, this current suppresses the idea that, in one relationship, each member has one just on top of the other.
For example, if one of them decides to go out with his friends and is late, it is unthinkable for the other to ask for an explanation or say “Am I entitled to know where you spent the night?”Respect and independence are untouchable.
In addition, she criticizes that society indicates that normality is established in heterosexuality, therefore, in the face of these impositions, she claims to love anyone, regardless of gender, gender, culture or beliefs.
The two common or practical points can be confused, as both advocate maintaining ties with multiple people, both emotionally and sexually, but if their difference is subtle, relational anarchy and polyamor are different.
Relational anarchy does not categorize or classify. Each relationship is considered unique, irreplaceable and independent of others, in this case love does not need labels to express or feel.
Polyamour does. In fact, one of its most common forms is precisely to catalog one of the relationships that the person has as primary (usually marriage) and the rest as secondary.
Relational anarchy is regarded by those who practice it as a way of life, are defined as free from love and free from the structures and conditions imposed by society and culture, use imagination to create their own ideal of relationships, design them and take them in the way that suits them best.
In this regard, Andie Nordgren has drafted a manifesto to unite the foundations or principles of this current. Currently, this thinking is considered a benchmark in relational activism to combat the traditional hegemony of the monogamous couple model.