The evil of love exists, it is real and the victims are counted by thousands, there are people addicted to relationships who give up daily their dignity and self-esteem in the field of the lost and recovered, practicing an emotional attachment that is both toxic and destructive. They are profiles characterized by a clear emotional immaturity with which love suddenly becomes a bitter substitute with serious side effects.
Relationship-addicted people will never have a healthy and happy bond, because they are hostage to the relationships they have, these couples build a daily scenario of captivity, a kind of circle of suffering in which all values, all kinds of morals, emotional and even psychological principles are sacrificed.
- Thus.
- As with any other type of addiction.
- It is not easy to break with a habit fueled by this ferocious need: to be part of someone.
- To be at someone’s feet to feel complete.
- Nourished.
- Realized.
When the brain gets used to this dynamic, with this substitute for bad love or poisoned drugs, it becomes very difficult to get rid of the so-called routine.
“You must love to be free: “I don’t need you, but I choose you. “Walter Riso?
People addicted to relationships are like any other, they have their work, their personal group, their tastes, their passions, their virtues, their flaws, etc. With this we want to express a simple idea: love addiction is age-free. , without status, does not discriminate and can pass us on to many without us nod. We don’t realize it, but the relationship we’re in can have clearly addictive elements.
However, if we dive into the layers of this muscle that form the essence of our emotional needs, we will accomplish certain things. The first is that there are two types of addicted relationship:
Type 1 defines people who still need a partner. His principle would be reduced to: “The person does not fall in love with who he wants, but who he loves, but the important thing is to love, to have someone. “
The type 2 addict acts like a trap. As soon as they start a relationship, they get caught up in it, they didn’t let the relationship end, even if it was bad, even if it injured all their principles of dignity.
Thus, these two types of addicts have common characteristics: fear of loneliness, lack of clear self-identity, lack of self-esteem, constant search for affection and validation of the other, these addicts have extreme behaviors to maintain the relationship and are extremely anxious when they realize that something is wrong.
All these symptoms involving dependents have the same pattern as an addiction disorder, the brain needs that dose of obsessive attachment, that nutrient that gives it the presence of the other, even if it comes from a problematic and toxic love.
Thus, and little by little, the person ends up being unable to regulate his own behavior to the point of reaching extreme situations: anxiety disorders, eating disorders, suicide attempts, etc.
It is very difficult to quit smoking when you still have a cigarette in your hands, so it is equally difficult to leave a vicious relationship when the person continues to feed on the same ideas, an emotional nicotine that destroys self-love.
There are those who come to therapy complaining that they always end up falling in love with the wrong people, the people who hurt them the most, it’s like their brains are programmed to fall into the same bad dynamic: instead of learning time and bad experiences, they find themselves in similar situations Why is this happening?Why is it so hard to stop this behavior?
Basically, because they still don’t understand the repercussions of this “love addiction. “Because they are vulnerable, with low self-esteem, with unhealthy attachment and because they need to work on a number of fundamental aspects. .
Dependents should take the first step and ask the simple question: what do I prefer: an announcement of love or good health?If the choice is for the second option, there is only one shape, one simple one, but that requires a wide internal extension. Work.
It’s about working self-esteem, building strong, courageous and brilliant dignity capable of liberating us, creating enriching bonds where there are no hostages: only free people who choose to build a common project.