We all know what debt is. A payment commitment between two entities that must be respected, however few realize these debts that are very present in relationships, especially between couples, are called relationship debts, and today we will find that in our life there are pending problems to be solved. .
Couple debts occur when we give up something important from ourselves in a relationship, something that represents a sacrifice, a real effort, yet this is not selfless. For such a great act, we expect from the other person certain things that can pay what we have done for it, in this way we contract a debt that no one is aware of.
- Couple debts involve a trap that we are almost never aware of.
- It is the fact that we do not speak clearly.
- The lack of sincere communication in the relationship.
- Rather than expressing the effort it takes for us to accept a certain situation that we do not like or to give our arm to applaud.
- Give in and shut up.
Thus, a silent debt is created from which the other person will not be aware and therefore will not assume. So, what’s going on? Recriminations, insignificant discussions and a series of situations will begin, which are nothing more than a manifestation of something we endure, which we do not like and for which we also demand a reward.
Consider, for example, that our partner moves to work in another country, this is an incredible opportunity. We decided to accompany him and, therefore, we left our work in the hope of finding another one in the destination country, however, over time, we began to blame our partner for not finding a job or blaming him for being away from our family.
In addition, we will put in his face the sacrifice of having allowed him to progress professionally while we put everything aside, including our work, for her. The recriminations will be constant, as we try to get the other person to reward us for our However, do we realize when we have incurred this emotional debt or the trap in which we have fallen?
“There is a very subtle difference between doing something voluntarily, even if it requires sacrifices, and doing so in the hope of receiving something in return. “
Relationship debts can be contracted between members of a couple, a friendship or even between family members, sometimes even ending up becoming emotional blackmail, we demand what we believe we deserve, we sacrifice ourselves so that we can ask, we give without limits to be able to demand and seek countless compensations that seem to have no end.
It is common to think that if we give in to our relationship with someone, we will be rewarded in one way or another, in every relationship there must be a gift and a constant reception, yet this is far from what we mean by relational. Debts.
This type of debt is contracted as an opportunity to show others how much we care and, at the same time, to ask for and receive what we think makes up for our great sacrifice, we want to have control that we do not have. blackmail begins. The obligatory question is: can we avoid this?
The answer is yes, we can avoid this situation. To begin with, you must be clear from the beginning and, although it may seem cold, express to the other what you expect in exchange for the effort you make. If we realize that we will not get a quarter of what we expect, it is better to deny it and not make the sacrifice.
We must also keep our eyes open to be aware of the sacrifices others can make for us and make very clear what we are unwilling to tolerate and the demands we will not accept in exchange for what they do for us. We.
“Without good communication, you’re more likely to get in the way of the relationship. “
Almost all of us have already incurred couple’s debts without realizing it, debts that damage our obligations, cause painful endings, and cause enmities that could be avoided, what if we start repaying all these debts and learn never to take them back?