When we resent it, we feel the repressed pain and rebellion, cold and hardened over time, of what happened to resentment. You disconnect from what happened before or what might happen in the future, and the situation and what you experienced remain unchanged over time. .
“I’m irritated with my sister because when I needed her help, she didn’t care about me, she didn’t care, and she didn’t even appreciate what she had done. “”Do I blame my partner for not considering me a year ago in this important decision he made?
- So.
- You cut off interest in the other person and try not to worry about what he does or says.
- Yet you can’t get rid of the feeling of frustration.
- Anger.
- Helplessness or pain for what offended you.
When you feel resentment, you continue to feel it. The word itself says it: sense, it is a small hiding place where pain and revolt remain unresolved, unresolved, but accumulated over time, if we do not pay attention to it can continue to grow like a monster inside. of us, which gradually gets bigger.
Generally, those who experience resentment at first are not able to understand or resolve, not even forget, being a very socially disqualified emotion.
But resentment, like all emotion, has a cause and a reason to explain it serves as a signal to indicate the existence of an existing and difficult problem.
Resentment begins to occur when we live an experience that has generated frustration, in which the person does not express pain or rebellion, so the people who often experience this emotion in general are the hypersensitive, those who experience both pain and rebellion with great intensity, and who did not know how to express them correctly.
Thus, little by little, they find themselves trapped inside the person, going through a process in which they become exaggerated and disproportionate.
The pain and revolt lodged inside grow giving way to this monster that can take over the person, not express it makes it toxic inside, keeps it disconnected from the rest and makes it chronic.
In view of the resentment that persists over time, it is worth asking how you assess yourself to feel this revolt preserved. There are several ways to assess yourself, some of which will help you resolve resentment, but others such as disqualification and self-loathing will only compound the problem.
If in addition to pain and rebellion there are censorship, the person may feel very bad, even thinking that he does not deserve to be loved, thus affecting his self-esteem.
To prevent resentment from appearing, you should know how to become properly irritated and above all recognize and express the pain you feel.
Most people do not know or have not learned to properly express their revolt, nor do they even know how to direct the energy resulting from such emotion, which makes the situation difficult.
When you rebel, it is usually because your expectations have gone beyond the reality that comes your way, so it should be considered that when discomfort occurs, what is generated is an increase in energy to have more strength and solve the problem that caused the discomfort. .
This, combined with the attitude of communicating pain without censorship, will allow resentment not to grow.
But if it is not possible to prevent resentment from appearing, it will be necessary to observe and transform the internal appreciation of what one feels, thus, if instead of disqualifying himself, the person gives himself the opportunity to express what he feels and what he feels. what you need, you will realize that you are hurt and upset, and will be able to communicate it to the other in an appropriate way.
It’s about being aware of what’s going on and identifying how you feel, rather than acting automatically. In addition, we must understand that no one can provide what we expect or what we need, not only because of their situation, but also because many times you do not express it.