The best revenge is forgetting. The best revenge is not to take revenge, to smile at hatred, to stifle anger and to show the other that we can be happy, because there is no better strategy than to act calmly and prudently, to continue with our firm gaze and calm. heart, knowing that there are weights you don’t want to carry for long.
Confucius said with great wisdom that before we embark on the path of vengeance, we must dig two graves: ours and that of the adversary. Philosophy has always provided us with benchmarks to reflect on the act of revenge and the moral consequences of this practice. popular and, at the same time, so “attractive. “
“Revenge is human, but forgiveness is divine. “? Walter Scott?
We have said that revenge is interesting for a very specific fact. We are faced with a type of human behavior that has always caught our attention, we cannot deny it. In fact, what writers and filmmakers know very well is that revenge fascinates us a lot. Some even say it works almost like a drug: prescribed in small doses it relieves, but consuming large amounts can kill us.
We have the excellent literary example of Edmond Dantés or the Count of Monte Cristo, this unforgettable character of Alejandro Dumas taught us that the best revenge is served cold, unhurried and perfectly calculated. Agatha Christie, in turn, made us participate in a community. and equally violent plot in “The Case of the Ten Negrinhos?”to teach us that wrongdoing must be duly avenged.
Revenge attracts us and we often justify it. However, what are the psychological processes behind this?
Most of us, at some point in our lives, feel so wounded, wounded, and offended that the shadow of this bitter and gray figure, but almost always tempting, crossed our minds: vengeance. Our moral compasses defever a few degrees from their north and we imagine ways, paths, and situations to make the pain hurt the person who offended us.
So something that should be clarified from the beginning and said by the psychologist Gordon E. Finley, a great expert in criminal behavior, is that revenge has little to do with morality, revenge is an impulse, it is the catharsis of anger and hatred. . Citing as an example the findings of the work carried out by Professor Ernst Fehr of the University of Zurich, it can be said that more than 40% of the decisions made in the business world are aimed solely at the competitor?Revenge?
The same goes for criminal acts, more than half of them are committed by the accumulated resentment towards someone and by the express desire for revenge, all this forces us to assume that the best revenge does not exist, because in addition to the results obtained with That, there is something more disturbing, something more revealing: we become aggressors and we are morally equal to the person who caused the original suffering.
It could be justified that the best revenge is non-revenge, because that is what morality and common law say, because that is what the religious, spiritual and even philosophical precepts that we often follow teach us; however, we will look at this situation from a purely psychological point of view.
Have you ever wondered what’s behind people who constantly get revenge?
As we have seen, analyzing through a psychological and emotional approach, revenge or desire for revenge offers no benefit, this impulse, this need or the way we want to define it erodes our integrity and not only nullifies our judgment, but also completely. limits the opportunity to improve as people to build a more peaceful and happy reality.
We may be attracted to all kinds of vigilantes in comedies or novels in the manner of Edmond Dantés, but behind them there is only suffering and loneliness, so the best revenge will always be not revenge, or rather, the best. Revenge is living well and allowing others to see us happy.