The right time to point out that something is bothering you, extrapolating your skills and hurting you, is now, only then can you say it in your best words and with confidence, before it’s too much and you end up having an attack that’s basically what you don’t want.
There are those who think that using self-affirmation in the correct measure is difficult, even selfish, however, doing it without harming others is the most effective attitude to defend our personal and emotional rights, knowing how to respect, in turn, what we have before us. U. S.
- It bothers me that you invade my personal spaces.
- That you put me in a vulnerable situation.
- That you make me feel small when my heart and my will are great.
- It bothers me and I defend so that you know where my limits are and that you know that you should not cross that line if you really love me.
One thing to keep in mind and what articles like the one that appeared in the newspaper?The Guardian? They used to point out to us the need to develop self-affirmation already in school and university contexts: a child, student or assertive adult is freer, more respectful and happier person.
One curious thing that usually happens in our language is that we start a sentence with the personal pronoun?ME ?, which usually gives the image, at times, of some pride. However, in English, no one finds it strange to hear phrases like “I feel (feel) ?, “I think (I think) ?,” do I need (need) ??
Even without using the first person in a very common way, it is good to be aware of our rights every time we interact with someone, it is a matter of dignity, and dignity must always be above fear, worry about not pleasing or fear of not being as others expect.
Acting with confidence is part of good self-esteem, it is the key and respectful ability to know how to assert yourself in these complex social contexts that we are currently experiencing. It is also clear that we cannot act aggressively by claiming our rights as if we were in a jungle. The key is balance, respect, know-how . . .
There is no worse source of stress and personal suffering than the need to please everyone and adapt to what the rest of us expect. This is not a healthy practice: the personal wear and tear you can endure is certainly enormous.
Behind this type of application lies a constant need for approval. It also means following the false idea of “what others think of me is more important than my opinion of myself. “
The first rule of self-esteem says that before we are accepted by others, we must accept ourselves, this means being brave to untie several knots:
What disturbs and is silenced forms a scab, if we swallow one disturbance after another, in the end we will be fed up with our own poison, therefore, if we choose to react at the last moment, fed by anger and frustration, others will look perplexed at discovering everything that has remained silent.
Assertiveness is the compass of self-esteem, it is the voice that gives us dignity and defends our rights, so it is vital to develop appropriate strategies to be able to integrate it into one’s own behavior.
Here are some basic guidelines
Assertiveness is the lifeblood of intelligence, and when used wisely, it is the best energy from which your self-esteem can be nurtured.