We usually call them toxic people or emotional vampires, they are profiles that contaminate us with their negative emotions to the point of exhausting our energies, leaving us exhausted, with a headache and wrapped in the pale veil of discouragement. For researchers, these types of dynamics can completely compromise our psychological well-being due to the curious impact it has on the brain.
It is quite striking how popular psychology always likes to use terminology that describes certain behavioral processes very well. Calling those people “emotional vampire” who, through their behavior, words or attitudes, lead us to an indescribable malaise is a great metaphor.
“If someone is looking for a place to throw away their own garbage, it’s not in their mind. -Dalai Lama-
However, will any subject matter expert say that in addition to stealing our energies?What’s really going on and this is scientifically proven, these people manage to contaminate us with the emotional state they emanate. Let’s take an example: a new employee arrived at the company we work for. As we know him, we realize that he never says anything positive about his life, he’s always “in a state of complaint. “
When you’re with that person, and even if you constantly wonder “why do I have to listen to these things?”, you can’t help but get the negativism that characterizes them, until you get to realize how this contact sometimes reduces our productivity at work. In fact, there are interesting studies that call these people “rotten apples. “
In other words, these profiles are the ones that are present in any work environment and that, due to their negative attitude, can bear all the emotional load of a team. At the same time, they manage to create hostile environments, in which more than one employee can request a leave of absence feeling literally “burned”.
But does the phenomenon of rotten apple or emotional vampire encompass many other contexts and lead to other dynamics?
Let’s take a trip back in time to understand what happens when, day after day, we need to be in a relationship or close to a victimized, negative, or stressful person. Think that our brain, for all that involves natural selection, is programmed to understand sociability and contact with our fellowmen, not only as a positive thing, but necessary, so what our ancestors did to increase their chances of survival was to form nuclei of various individuals.
So we need other people to feel good, connect and create meaningful connections. When this happens, our brain releases oxytocin. However, when can’t we?With a person, when what we receive is some hostility or mistrust, the brain releases cortisol, the stress hormone. In this way, a very specific feeling will appear in our minds: the feeling of threat.
At the same time, we also cannot overlook what is happening in our sophisticated network of interconnected cells that make up our mirror neuron system, designed only to record and process each person’s facial expression or body language, which often leads us to become infected by the emotional states of the people around us. Similarly, do researchers also say that there are people more sensitive to this than others?Pollution?and therefore, little by little, a toxic cocktail is produced for our own health and psychological balance.
Thus, the chemical effect of stress on our brains caused by a sense of permanent threat, combined with the contamination of the negative emotions we receive from others, provokes a unique and persistent desire in our mind: the desire to escape.
We would like to be able to say that to deal with emotional vampires or these energy theft profiles, stay away from them, however, that would be little more than a euphemism, because we all know that few people can give up their jobs simply because there is a “rotten apple” in it. And no one can ever distance himself from this mother or brother who takes away our will, our happiness and our energy when they are there.
“It’s strange how quickly the bad guys think everything’s going to be all right. – Victor Hugo-
A good book to learn more about this topic and continue to delve into your scientific studies is Emotional Contagion, studies on emotion and social interaction, explains that the best thing to do in these cases is to learn to be impervious to this type of interaction. to protect your physical and emotional well-being.
Here are some reflections
In conclusion, there are times when you need to be aware of your own needs to prevent others from parasite your life and tranquility, since we can not always count on the company of people who bring us balance and happiness, so we must learn to face with respect. and maturity that bring us only storms, but we must also learn to act with the firmness that shows our will.