Assertiveness refers to the ability to properly apply our rights and always with respect to others. Knowing how to say “no,” for example, is a clear example that the person has good insurance. But what makes it not exist properly?
The answer is at one of the most important stages of our lives: childhood, if since childhood our parents develop poor emotional upbringing, we will have serious difficulties in asserting ourselves in the future, recognizing our rights and defending them strongly enough for anyone to violate them.
“Assertiveness helps cultivate patience and live in a much more balanced and relaxed way. “
What is emotional neglect? Not meeting the emotional needs of all children. For example, there has certainly been more than once that we think that the fact that a child cries because he has lost his toys is, and we laugh at it. This will allow the child to learn, to hide his emotions for fear of ridicule.
Adults often use phrases like? Or don’t you cry? Aimed at children, unaware of the terrible foundations on which they rest, children will feel that their reactions are not adequate and will learn to contain and suppress them. That’s not all. There are many other consequences when children reach adulthood.
One consequence is that these children, transformed into adults, will not be able to recognize their emotions and feelings and, worse, will not be able to express them properly, which will lead them to adopt very extreme attitudes towards others, that is, they can choose to allow others to step on them or may show extraordinary aggression.
“I’ve never been able to express my feelings or emotions with words, I don’t know if that’s why I did it through music and painting. . – Arnold Schonberg–
But perhaps one of the worst results of parents’ emotional neglect is the formation of low self-esteem. These children, who will become adults in the future, will think they do not deserve to be loved, then they will live unsatisfactory relationships, which will never feel worthy of them, feel unhappy, and suffer greatly because they believe those relationships can end at any time.
To prevent children from learning to feel guilty about who they are and not to trust their instincts, it is important to find out what the foundations are for them to develop healthy confidence, so parents should be very careful not to minimize this situation. important part of your children‘s education and consider what we’ll mention below.
One of the foundations for developing health insurance is to value what children feel, as well as their opinions. We can’t judge how, the fact that they cry because they had an argument with their best friend. It’s important to listen, understand, and never laugh at it, because even if it’s for us, it’s not.
The second of the basics is to teach children to recognize what they are feeling, to discern the emotion they are feeling at the time, and to understand it to better cope. If you don’t, there will be serious problems in your business. Emotional driving? In the not too distant future.
The third is to communicate with the children and know how to ask the right questions so that they can gain safety for themselves, some of these questions may be: what you think, how you feel, what you need and what you do. Means?
Developing healthy insurance will allow children to be aware of their affirmative rights and to know that they are worthy of being treated with respect.
Meeting children’s emotional needs will help them discover how they feel and need it, but it will also allow them to be aware that their emotions and needs are important, that no one has reason to step on them, and that they can express themselves freely. what they feel because they deserve to be respected by others.
If all this is not learned from childhood, from the education given to them by parents, when they grow up they will have serious problems of safety and self-esteem, they will not assume that they deserve to be well treated by others. and that they deserve love, and all this can lead to self-destructive behavior and constant self-buttoning.