What do we do when we meet someone? To break the ice and start a conversation without problems we use self-reports, that is, we give free information about ourselves, did no one ask us for anything personal? But still, in an attempt to bond with the person, use this strategy.
Self-assessments are seen as strategies because they are an important part of our social skills, it is true that there are people who use this strategy less than others and while their use is beneficial, it can also cause problems when it occurs in excess. .
- How do we identify self-assessments? It’s very simple.
- Every time we express an opinion.
- Express our desires.
- Or speak for ourselves.
- We use that strategy.
As we said earlier, it is a way to present the other person with a strategy to create a warm and pleasant atmosphere and sometimes try to find similarities, for example, if we give our opinion and the other person agrees with us, we are on the right path to build a bond.
Every time we tell someone where we live, what we work with, or what we like, we use self-relaxation to try to connect with the person.
Giving information about us is very nice, because it generates a climate of trust and invites the other person to do the same with themselves, in these circumstances it is normal that there is interest and that questions begin to arise.
Self-re-unveilings are very useful because we know no one but ourselves. If we don’t have a lot of social skills, this is a good place to start a conversation. Giving personal information always attracts, generates curiosity and invites others to know. to get to know each other better.
However, even if we make good use of this tool, sometimes we make many mistakes. We often don’t know why we sound bad for someone or why the relationship didn’t work. This type of situation can reveal a problem related to autoreports.
While self-assessments seem like a great way to start a conversation and meet new people, the truth is that sometimes they don’t bring any benefit. Below, we will describe some of the errors that can lead to tense situations.
All the information we give about ourselves is ‘good information’, we are not talking about our faults, needs or weaknesses, if we go too far in giving good information we can project an image of false perfection that can make us lose credibility. .
A situation can come to mind in which one thinks the other person felt better than others or that he presented himself as an impeccable person. She probably exaggerated what she said about herself or focused too much on the positive.
There are people who like to let others go, open up to the point that others know her too much, however, not everyone likes some kind of information. Therefore, you should be careful when you don’t know the person you’re interacting with very well.
Being too explicit can lead to feelings of rejection in the person if we don’t know them. We don’t know if he has a belief or taboo about what we’re talking about in detail.
For example, being very detailed in telling something or expressing feelings in a very precise way can generate a certain rejection if there is no trust, that is why we must pay attention to the non-verbal communication of those who precede us, to know if we should keep certain things secret .
It is important to note that not giving information about us and being very polite does not promote the construction of new relationships, the same happens if we exaggerate the information or say things like we are talking to someone we know. long time (but no) These are two very negative extremes. For this reason, the success of self-assessments is balanced.
It is very likely that most of us have made mistakes in some self-assessments. It’s normal. It is not easy to distinguish what kind of information can be given at first or guess whether or not the other person will like what we say. However, we can learn from the experiences we have.
The most important thing is to be aware of our automatic use of this social competence and, above all, to know that self-re-unveiling strengthens ties with well-known people and helps us build relationships with strangers. Magic is in balance.