Self-reflection invites us to let go of certainties, to question intransigent thoughts and, in turn, reminds us that we are free beings, people capable of being autonomous when deciding. Few dimensions of personal growth promote this intimate and so complete connection with the interior, to ask ourselves what we really want and what impedes our happiness.
No one will be surprised to learn that most personal development gurus call self-reflective awareness “the forgotten art of psychology. ” This is due to a very simple reason: has our society reached a point where it is much easier to blame someone else or luck for the things that happen to us instead of having the courage? or psychological ability? It assumes that much of what happens to us is a consequence, avoidable or inevitable, of our actions.
“Life is very simple, but we insist on complicating it. –
If I feel unhappy it’s because my partner doesn’t know how to make me happy, if I can’t have trustworthy friendships it’s because everyone is selfish, if I suspend the exams more than once it’s because this guy’s teacher has an anger against me. If I can never get rid of this misfortune and frustration, it’s because the world just doesn’t know how to appreciate my worth. Yes, that’s because.
We all know these phrases that correspond to a need to find a cause or a responsible person, those arguments that we have certainly heard from a friend, family member, colleague or colleague. Is the lost art of self-reflection at the origin of many dysfunctional bonds in families the reason for the breakdown of affective relationships and conflicts that arise and are established in many professional settings.
If a person does not have an active thought to question certain situations, he will feel very dissatisfied, when the same person is also unable to understand his own emotions, to learn from his mistakes or to take responsibility for his own actions and their consequences, he will live in a state of mind in which lightness will produce only one result: misfortune.
Many of us have already gone through a stage in life where we have said things like “I need to travel, I need to get out, I need to cross my personal borders to know myself. “Gradually we realize that it is not really necessary to change meridians to find this true version of our own being because no matter where we go, we will remain ourselves. Knowledge is within and flows directly from self-reflection.
At the same time, it should be remembered that this skill is not learned in a day or two, it is a maturation process in which we can see our reality from different crystals, in which we can ask ourselves difficult questions to open the mind. , question everything around us, and even ourselves. Self-reflection is the engine of personal growth, a journey to which we all have a ticket.
Although it’s funny, we don’t always make good use of it
Success? We are not talking exclusively about gaining a privileged position in society, success is first and foremost well-being, it is the ability to create our own happiness in any realm of life, so, according to Daniel Goleman’s research, self-reflection is crucial to be able to develop, for example, adequate emotional intelligence.
We need to understand, therefore, that what psychologists define as “self-reflexive awareness” is really a “metacognitive” that we can all practice and improve. This mainly means being able to think and reflect on one’s own mental and emotional processes to understand and control them.
Someone with a good capacity for self-reflection is a person who knows how to manage his impulses, someone who plans, who has an adequate social conscience and who, in turn, understands that life is a continuous learning in which you have to be receptive to everything. around us.
He is also a person capable of establishing a healthy and useful internal dialogue with which intuitively mistakes, deficiencies, insecurities and feelings of discomfort in order to heal those feelings and build a better version of himself day after day.
On the other hand, and out of curiosity, it is worth remembering what Emmanuel Kant said in “Criticism of Pure Reason”. For the philosopher Konigsberg, the outside, what surrounds us is actually a reflection of the interior. The inner image is characterized by a zero capacity for self-reflection, low self-esteem and uncompromising thinking, all these low and negative dynamics would form an oppressive, grey and restless outside world.
More than a goal, it’s a necessity. Developing good self-reflection is a daily goal in which we must invest efforts and desires to become what we so desire: free people, what we could see as a rebirth, such as an awakening of consciousness, enlightenment or a?Insight? In the film Matrix we were taught to discover that we don’t have to constantly satisfy others, that we have the right voice and the right tools to be what we want.
To achieve this, we can work on the following aspects
To get to know each other, a good option is to stop and think a little about our roots, sometimes a particular style of creation, a specific type of education often determines who we are now and even how we perceive ourselves.
Do human beings have social impulses, do we need intimacy, the desire to belong to a specific social group, to achieve certain achievements, certain goals?
If we understand our motivations, we will also understand many of our emotions. In addition, sometimes we will find that many of these desires are mere attachments that do nothing for our personal growth.
Defense mechanisms are activated when our identity is threatened or when we are exposed to painful information about ourselves, being aware of the causes of these reactions and the defensive strategies we use will certainly give us objective information about our deepest fears, our needs, our emptiness, our needs?
People are a compendium of greatness and weakness, of virtue and defect, of light and shadow, becoming aware of each of these dimensions and deepening them will give us an indispensable tool to work on our self-reflection.
An existence without purpose is not life, a spirit without goals does not prosper, it is not happy, that is why you lack motivation and reasons to get up.
Then we have to make a list of the goals that currently define us and ask ourselves why they are so important to us and what we do to achieve them, make them our own.
“If you don’t want to be continually frustrated, avoid wanting things that don’t depend on you. -Epithet-
Self-reflection does not have to be unless we also feed it from a critical point of view. How does the society I live in interfere with me?I’m a fashion slave, I worry a lot, what will people say?Should I prioritize acting on my true desires rather than feeling integrated?
We must devote at least half an hour a day to practicing self-reflection, and also to focusing on the most important things in life, on our emotional and mental states, on the present in which we are involved. Keep a diary, walk, paint or shut up for a long time in this place that is close to our work, for example?
In conclusion, we must make self-reflection a conscious habit in which every day we dare to be a little freer, we must set aside the superficiality, fears and comfort of the comfort zone to develop a real well-being in which we will meet again with this being that we often neglect and let go several times : ourselves.
References
Goleman, Daniel (2017). Triple focus. Zeta Pocket
Dyer, Wayne (2010). ? Your wrong areas? DeBolsillo
Jung, Carl (2010). ? Memories, sueos, thoughts? New collection of essays