Separation anxiety is a situation that we usually associate with children, but which many adults also experience and is defined as excessive anxiety when separated from the home or from people with which it has a strong emotional bond (p. E. g. Couple, parents, grandparents, siblings, etc. ). children, etc. ).
Symptoms can be mild or quite severe and are similar in children and adults, in adults it is generally thought that this is a problem with which the person has grown up, but it is not always so, it can occur at any time in Separation Anxiety manifests itself in the fear of separating from their partner, their children , your job or something the person values yourself for. This can be very exhausting for those who suffer from it, but also for “attachment objects”. because they often reflect or reinforce an addiction that already existed to some extent.
- The notion of time is not easy and it takes a few years to develop it.
- For many children any separation is difficult and causes them suffering and crying.
- In addition.
- If it is not well managed by their parents.
- It can have serious consequences.
- Such as great insecurity in adolescence.
- Or even transcend for later years.
Like any anxiety disorder, whether in childhood or adulthood, it is very important for separation anxiety to seek treatment: only rarely does it disappear naturally, the normal is that it tends to develop, to diversify into other areas of life. and facilitate the development of other forms of anxiety, such as agoraphobia or panic syndrome.
The recommended treatment is usually psychotherapy, however, in the case of children, the information we have on this topic and some of the tools we offer in this article can help you avoid this situation and observe the warning signs in case the problem starts to appear. .
Some separation anxiety is normal and common at some stage of our development. Between the age of 8 and 14 months, babies, who previously had no sense of danger, begin to be afraid of strangers or new places. This “normal step” is a natural adaptation method that helps children get used to and control the environment around them.
This separation anxiety usually decreases considerably or disappears completely at age two, children of this age understand that their parents may be absent, but they will return later, at the same time, understand that they too can do the same and with that security, they are encouraged to explore the world.
This does not mean that, in specific and new times or situations, children do not experience a certain degree of anxiety, this anxiety is more likely when they are separated from their parents for an extended period of time, when faced with hospitalization situations. , change of school, etc.
In this situation, parents may experience different emotions, there is a sense of well-being because our child is attached to us, but it can also generate a feeling of guilt for having to leave him with strangers, it is also normal to feel overwhelmed. for the attention and time your child needs.
The fact that your child doesn’t want you to leave is a good sign that attachment between you is healthy, as long as that desire doesn’t arouse great anxiety. A healthy attachment means there’s confidence, that your child trusts you to come back. every time you’re out, and that’s enough to calm you down when you’re gone. Pathological attachment occurs when the child needs comfort and safety at all times and does not have the tools to deal with new situations, making it very difficult to do.
It’s a difficult step. However, anxiety must disappear over time and with great patience and strength. On the other hand, if every time your child cries, you run from another room or cancel out all your projects, it’s better to fine-tune your strategies, knowing that the power of Avoid the separation he fears will be in your hands.
If you’re thinking of taking your child to day care, keep in mind that you may experience the separation anxiety we’re talking about: children are particularly sensitive between eight months and the year of age. If you really have to do this, practice separation gradually taking it to new places or leaving it with a parent or nanny for short periods of time, until you have to leave it at daycare.
Leave these? Try it for times when your child isn’t tired, restless, or hungry. Plan to do so after you’ve eaten or taken a nap. Remember that you are a baby and that it is best to make changes when basic needs are met without interference. .
Anticipate the entrance to the nursery by visiting the premises with him before the first day. In addition, if possible, apply the adaptation gradually, during which the child initially spends a few hours and gradually increases the time spent in school.
If you take your child to a special day care center it’s because you trust the professionals who work there, in this sense try to be consistent with this decision and let them help you manage the separation according to the advice of the employees. they have a lot of experience dealing with these kinds of problems and will want what’s best for you and your child.
Stay calm and try to give your child peace and confidence. Explain when you return using concepts he understands, such as “after lunch,” “after a nap,” and so on. Can you create a farewell ritual in which, Goodbye, it takes place in a loving and pleasant way, in which you devote all your attention and when you leave do not go back: it could make things worse.
Come back when you promised to come back; This way, you’ll maintain your child’s confidence and better manage this situation. Be punctual, especially when you adapt: although children don’t have such a strong sense of time, they can see that other children leave and feel anxious about anyone coming to pick them up.
During the farewell, don’t sneak in, even if you see your child is calm, as it can make him feel abandoned. Come out after you say goodbye. Also, don’t unnecessarily prolong the farewell, as this attitude reinforces the feeling that daycare can be a bad place or that what’s going on is more important than it really is.
It is unusual for separation anxiety to persist daily for long periods of time and consistently. If you’re concerned your child won’t fit without you, consult a professional. Keep in mind that you could also handle the situation inappropriately, which requires an expert.