Someone beyond our psychological limits can be compared to a drop of water falling on a large stone. It takes millions of years for the drip to cause significant erosion in the hard rock. In the case of people, it doesn’t take that long, but sometimes it’s hard to understand what’s going on.
This is because manipulation is subtle and difficult to detect. Unfortunately, we don’t realize that someone is crossing the line and can even jeopardize our integrity, for example.
- However.
- The main problem is that almost everyone is not really aware of the limitations we have to impose.
- When our emotional plan begins and ends.
- It can be complex and hardly anyone thinks about it.
So is it easier to determine if someone has become “smart”?(In every way). To avoid any inconvenience, we let go, we thought it was something “isolated”. It means extending our limits unconsciously, but there are times when we let go beyond what is recommended and everything becomes more complicated. It becomes harder for us to recover, the territory that suits us.
It’s good to know that extending your limits from time to time or with some people isn’t a bad or negative decision in itself, in fact, there’s evidence that the smartest, most creative and most sensitive people are the ones with flexible limits. : maintain sensitive and assertive flexibility.
However, there are times when we must assert ourselves, to show that our rights are unalterable. Otherwise, we will be more exposed to your submissions. The first step is to learn to detect the precise moment when someone is exceeding our limits, because we have already determined what they are and what they are for.
1. Justify the bad behavior of the other: these excuses that can be given when someone treats us in an un loving way, when it degrades us or disrespects us, this is very common in sentimental relationships, when one of them is violent and the other is a victim. The most common justification or excuse is: “He is very good to me, but are you nervous because he has problems at work?”money. “
One way to go beyond our limits is to let go of bad attitudes because, deep down, we know that the person loves us, and even if we are 100% sure of this love, violence is never allowed, as well as other types of behavior that cause harm. You have to be very careful because there is only one step between understanding and submission. When you want to understand why the other person treats you in a certain way, don’t justify yourself and don’t lie, just to avoid an argument or face reality.
2. Se blame yourself if something goes wrong: if you often blame yourself when something doesn’t go as planned, whether at work, at home, at college, etc. , it’s because someone around you pushes your limits. Our actions are correct, but they do not fulfill the duties and obligations of others, and they blame us for things beyond us.
This way it will be impossible to solve the problem and it will take longer to get good results, if your partner stole your effort and your part in a project, do not think that you did not know how to defend it at that time. . There may be another drawback, such as being afraid to create a conflict at work, not being able to speak in public, being ashamed to talk about certain topics, etc. , don’t blame yourself, fight for what you know is yours.
3. Doubt your own decision listening to another opinion: once you have thought a lot about a topic and made a decision, someone comes and, only with the outline of your idea, begins to make you doubt. Is it possible that this person begins to benefit. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be like this, but be careful.
It’s valid to consult others when you don’t know what to say or do in your life, but what’s not acceptable is that every time we talk to a person?X ?, so we ended up doing everything we already had planned or decided. . Sometimes the opinions of others can make us sea. Or ‘help us’, it all depends on who we’re talking to.
As I said before, there is a very fine line between manipulation and cooperation, for example, this happens when parents say they unconditionally support their child’s decision, but then question it.
When you’re sure someone has exceeded your limits, don’t hesitate to make it clear, express how you feel, what you think, explain very clearly what your position is in this, so that it doesn’t happen again. irritation towards each other, but always respect the relaxed and determined tone of voice. Please note that, in some respects, you are not willing to give in.