All master singers have traits in common, ‘skills’ that feed their manipulation or extortion behavior, feed on fear, guilt and obligation, so that the other person can do whatever they want, so that they stop seeing the other person as what it is. and start seeing it as a simple instrument that they can manipulate to get what they want, no matter what that person might feel; it’s like using a hammer to nail a nail, we ignore the feel of the hammer because we don’t think it has them.
In the use they make or try to make of others, fear usually assumes the role of protagonist: from the fear of losing the other to rejection, without power or change, but almost always it is about this, the fear of losing?(something or someone). This can have an ancient origin in childhood, for example, a sum of many traumas, anxieties or problems of the past, can also be the automatic response, the reaction not to face low self-esteem, insecurity, lack of self-confidence. Etc.
- Anyone can be a blackmailer.
- According to the experts.
- Depending in particular on the type of learning they have had and their communicative history.
- Some facts can trigger it.
- Such as divorces.
- Layoffs.
- Illnesses.
- Etc.
- By this we do not mean that all people who divorce.
- Run out of work or get sick are or will become singing teachers or emotional manipulators.
- But the truth is that they increase the chances when there is an event that can act as a trigger.
It can be said that when a person begins to give in to a master singer, he begins to lose. The price to pay can be very expensive. The problem is that we do not always realize what is happening, extortions make the other person feel unbalanced, ashamed and above all guilty, contempt, manipulation and inaction make it easier for the victim to fall into an ambush.
Therefore, we may begin to doubt the ability to keep our own promises, lose confidence in ourselves, and self-esteem levels decrease. The worst thing is that we let ourselves be convinced by emotional blackmail, losing our integrity, our independence, our dreams, our desires, etc.
Although emotional blackmail is not considered violent psychophysical abuse, however it leaves less profound wounds, quite the opposite, when we live with a person of these characteristics it damages the depths of our being, something that is harder to recover than a few physical blows.
To call each other’s behavior?You have to have several components. By analyzing the limits, it is easier to know if we are in a situation of this magnitude:
1? The requirement: blackmailers do not always clearly express what they want, but let the other “guess”. However, the equation is not so simple, because the subject is given so much importance that the other person has no choice but to give in. or accept this situation.
2? Resistance: when someone thinks differently from the master singer, he does not rejoice, he becomes angry, makes the other believe that he is responsible for his sadness, refuses to think like his partner, his friend, his father, etc. he doesn’t accept anything that’s different from what he wants or would like it to be.
3? The pressure: press all the time until the other changes their mind, complains, argues, cries, screams, gets angry The question is: does it convince the other (not in the best way) that your point of view is the most correct Use guilt and grief to continue your game.
4? The threat: if you still don’t get what you want, if you see your desires collide with each other’s denial, start doing so?, what could be the consequences of this bad decision, the threat may be pain, misery or even death, you could say how much you suffer, that you can’t live like this, that it’s better to separate, etc.
5? Obedience: since the other person does not want to look bad or separate from him, you give in and accept the proposal, the idea, the opinion, this does not mean that you agree or have changed your mind, but simply so that you do not believe more problems and that you do not suffer, keep in mind that if you start giving in it will be very difficult for you to recover.
6? The reiteration: if the previous five points reappear more often is because we have one big problem, the pressure, punishment, guilt or preferred device will not be used for this topic, but for another.
That’s how we get into a vicious circle that we can’t get out of, is it essential to be aware of the first warning sign, the first, if you let me kill myself?I won’t be able to live without you to detect emotional blackmail, because then it may be too late.