Expressing negative emotions when we feel them doesn’t mean losing your mind. Because being angry, saying “is enough?”, Reacting to those who want us to be sumissive, predictable and silent is a healthy and even necessary reaction. Our temperament, after all, has the full right to overflow from time to time to allow us to express ourselves, to allow ourselves to channel these negative emotions.
Winston Churchill’s biographers say that the celebrated British Prime Minister inherited his father’s leadership and Victorian balance; of his mother had stubbornness, energy and an innate capacity for seduction; however, as the politician himself has said more than once, his family was also characterized by a particular coat of arms that he also carried with resignation in the attics of his mind: depression.
- Anger is only problematic if it is very intense.
- Frequent and irrational.
- Intelligently managed can be our best channel to solve certain situations.
His “black dog,” as Churchill called him, lurked in the deepest follies of his life. Outside, he was the energetic and willing man who managed to prevent Britain from succumbing to Nazism, who distinguished himself as a great journalist and even won the Nobel Prize in Literature. However, in it was all the tension accumulated, the contradictions and anxieties sank like stones, like stones to digest one by one and in strict silence.
Because the politician had every right to lose his job from time to time to show courage and energy, but was the man still hiding behind his “black dog,” his books and his countless bottles of cognac?
If there is one thing our society has taught us wrong is that there are good and bad emotions, in fact, if we now say that boredom, anger and anger are healthy, it is quite possible that many people will see some contradiction. How can a number of emotions traditionally related to aggression, discussion or even violence be good?
Well, these kinds of powers so prevalent in the population are yet another example of our lack of emotional competence, because if there is one thing we should be clear about, it is that there are no ‘good or bad emotions’. we make the mistake of suppressing, swallowing or disguising our anger, what we will achieve in the long run, in addition to emotional indigestion, are these the emotions we call “positive”?lose their intensity.
We have the right to express negative emotions. Of course, it is best that we do so with intelligence and assertiveness, we grant ourselves permission to show our anger and anger at anything that causes contradiction, anger or anger, because the fact that these emotions are associated with discomfort does not mean that they are “bad”. Moreover, what we achieve with them is very necessary for our psychological well-being: we affirm ourselves and resolve conflicts so that we can better adapt to our contexts.
People are born with the ability to be aggressive. However, that does not make us bad people, anger accompanies us from childhood and our ultimate responsibility to it is to use it functionally to defend ourselves and set limits.
Ana is a high school teacher and teaches math classes in various groups, besides being an excellent teacher she has excellent leadership qualities for her profession, you know how to communicate with your students when they are not paying attention or when they are not working as they should, she is agile to communicate, reactive and knows how to vent her emotions so that they have a positive impact on her students. With the energy he draws from his own emotions, he is able to encourage, direct and inspire them at the same time.
However, all these qualities that Ana demonstrates in class, she does not possess them in the private sphere, with her family and her partner, she is the one who juggles a thousand to satisfy everyone, she is the one who takes hours where she does not have. and you can’t ask for any favors, requests or whimsy you ask. Our protagonist is already accumulating such a level of anger and frustration that he feels that, from one moment to the next, it will affect his work.
Next, we intend to think of simple principles that would be of great use to Ana and anyone else in the same situation.
First of all, we must remember one detail: to express negative emotions without losing reason, a functional anger, adapted and controlled, we mean a communication in which the person does not use unnecessary crying, insult or rebuke, in which each pronounced word passes previously through the filter of respect, calm and firmness.
Feelings are not repressed or invented, if there are things that irritate, hurt and hurt us, we will not swallow those emotions like the one who swallows a food that he does not like with his nose covered.
But isn’t that about answering? We immediately face what we don’t like just when anger surprises us, if so it is very likely that anger will take us to its most dysfunctional side and solve the situation in the worst possible way.
The most appropriate thing in these cases is to plan ahead what we are going to say, how and when to say it, this plan gives us the opportunity to be smarter, not necessarily false or artificial.
In conclusion, as we have seen, well-managed anger has the potential to give us the strength we need to solve many situations, so losing our posture intelligently, respectfully and assertively gives us the opportunity to get rid of that knot. in the womb and even this “black dog” called the depression winston Churchill secretly went through for much of his life.