Social chameleons are champions when it comes to giving a good impression, they do not hesitate to practice a kind of emotional commercialism, where it is normal to hide their own feelings, thoughts and opinions, to be accepted and obtain approval. It is a type of practice that has serious side effects on dignity.
It is very likely that many of our readers will remember a curious Woody Allen film called “Zelig”. In it, the protagonist has a curious supernatural ability: he is able to completely change his appearance to suit any environment in which he finds himself. Finally, a young psychoanalyst warns that Leonard Zelig’s real problem, that is, it is his extreme insecurity, that he wears will camouflage himself among the people to feel accepted and integrated.
- “The real one assumes the responsibility of being and recognizes hes hem free to be what he wants to be.
- -Jean Paul Sartre-.
It is undoubtedly an extreme case, a fun audiovisual reflection that Allen brought to the screens to talk about psychology, identity problems and our society, however, there is one fact that we cannot ignore: we are all, in a way, social chameleons.
Being who you are, seamless and with total transparency, is not always easy, we are afraid of what others will say, afraid to disappoint, to attract attention, or even to be what others expect of us. society forces us to integrate, we are all very clear, however, it is important to remember that the key is to learn to be people, not characters, to be a person means to know how to respect others with their characteristics, opinions, virtues and Strangeness, is also to be able to practice honesty so as not to dilute our identity and values in exchange for being accepted.
Mark Snyder, a renowned social psychologist at the University of Minnesota in the United States, is an expert in studying the universal need to be socially accepted. An interesting aspect that reveals to us, first of all, is that social relations Chameleons are extremely unhappy people, let us think for a moment, imagine someone who is forced to be like those around him every day.
To succeed, do you have to get used to thinking and feeling something and do it the other way around, living between constant contradiction, swinging between your private face and your public mask, laughing when you don’t want to, lying compulsively?an almost addictive behavior, in which always giving a good impression does not really translate into lasting and satisfying bonds, which in many cases causes a real psychological exhaustion.
We must not forget that, in order to change, the social chameleon must be aware of the social codes of each context, we must observe, read the implicit and explicit languages, we must imitate, but above all we must show an extraordinary plasticity with which to be always very convincing.
Being the right person at all times requires, in addition to always listening to the reaction of others, to follow our social performance at all times, to adjust it to obtain the desired effect. As we can deduce, the wear and tear that all this causes is immense.
For social chameleons, everything is allowed; lose their dignity, their principles and even their scale of values, for the sole purpose of succeeding, feeling integrated or being recognized, however, representing so many situations, they will never be able to establish authentic relationships, have precious friends, stable relationships to be able to show their own faces, without any mask?
There are trades that, whether we like it or not, need this kind of chameleon ability to generate impact, seduce, attract customers, generate trust and even, why not, even manipulate. Thus, works such as politics, law, the world of marketing and advertising, theatre or diplomacy, demand these psychological juggling in which imitating is synonymous with survival and even triumph.
As we mentioned at the beginning, we all had to act as social chameleons at some point in our lives, however, subject matter experts, such as Dr. Mark Snyder, tell us that if we want to have true emotional health, wisdom and balance, we must learn to be “social zebras”.
No matter where a zebra is, no matter who has it, it will always be the same, its stripes will never change. This, of course, is supposed to be an easy target for predators and, as we know, on our social media. contexts, they also exist. So they may not like our “stripes”, they don’t like our skin, our style, our personality or the tone of our voice, but the few who love our authenticity will be our best allies.
In conclusion, few things can be as useless as trying to please everyone, trying to be a piece capable of integrating into each puzzle, such skill is not true and much less healthy, let us learn to live without masks, to be consistent and brave creatures, unique and exceptional with each of our “stripes”, our beautiful coats?