Splitting is a sophisticated name for behavior that isn’t that complicated, it refers to those people for whom everything that happens is black or white, if they don’t have everything, they have nothing. They say that if something is not right, then it is wrong; in a word, they’re extreme followers.
Anyone who thinks and feels that way believes that they are not wrong, they see themselves as well-resolved people who do not like half-inks, however, this way of seeing the world is often a source of hardship and suffering.
In general, they complain a lot about the lack of clarity of other people and situations.
“Balance is the secret. Moderate extremism? Edward Abbey?”
Those who are victims of excision often get angry, are often disappointed because they move quickly from idealization to devaluation of people and situations.
Since this purism only dwells in your mind and desires, you are disappointed several times, unfortunately all this happens unconsciously, so they do not realize that it is their own point of view that hurts them.
No one falls into excision for no reason, nor does he develop this extremist perspective because he finds it wonderful, behind this attitude there is a deep desire for certainty and a great desire to have a solid foundation to look at the world and position itself. There.
It is very common that behind the excision there is a difficult childhood, with dysfunctional parents. The origin of this way of seeing life is probably found in these unpredictable and erratic figures of child authority.
One day they could be kind and in a good mood, but two days later they were intolerant with the most absurd things.
This type of context often becomes an obstacle to full moral development, which in turn implies cognitive stagnation.
In other words, in this environment it is very difficult to learn what is good and what is bad, it is even more difficult to clarify the wide range between one end and the other.
Seeing the world with extremism is one way to defend ourselves from the instability and inaccuracy we cared about as children. We respond to our parents’ misunderstanding about these erratic behaviors with a kind of compensation.
To compensate for the lack of clarity, our mind responds by trying to generate absolute clarity Is it or isn’t it?It’s black or white.
When a person is the victim of a split, he cannot gather his positive and negative feelings in the same space; he loves someone and then hates him. Or vice versa: believe in everything or don’t believe in anything.
They don’t do it deliberately. It is a mechanism that automatically appears in the face of ambiguities or paradoxes, this uncertainty causes them emotional pain and they react by radicalizing.
Those who have this kind of behavior have a hard time empathizing with others, in fact, they find it hard to understand each other. However, they often project this lack of understanding into others.
That’s why they say it’s the others, with their ups and downs, who are wrong, they don’t realize that their plan condemns everyone to error.
As is often the case in the psychological world, not everyone experiences excision in the same way, neither content nor intensity.
In principle, if you think this phenomenon is present in your life, it would be nice to try something that can work. Avoid saying words that are too categorical: “Always, never, well, bad, etc. ?Find less accurate terms to evaluate the world.
When unfolding is very abrupt, the above technique may not work, in such cases professional help is needed to remove obstacles that hinder its full ethical, emotional and cognitive maturity.
We need to restructure our perspective to make it more realistic
We all wanted reality to be simpler, but we didn’t. Between white and black there is a wide variety of shades of gray. All people and all aspects of reality have many facets.
You can be good and bad, intelligent and pointless, happy and unhappy at the same time. The human being is exactly like this: a wide range of colors in addition to black and white.