Have you ever felt or felt that the world was out of control? Have you ever wished the world would stop for a moment, for the great agony you felt? Have we all been through times when we think? Routine and daily stress generally does not allow the development of inner peace, states of calm and tranquility.
When we feel that we are not faced with the situation, we are frustrated and with an unpleasant sense of fear, which in many cases can explode in the form of anger and despair, all contributing to the generation of a kind of fog in our thoughts, which makes it difficult to find a suitable solution or solution to deal with the situation that is happening.
- In this scenario it is important to first understand what happens before acting.
- Maybe all you need to do is breathe and coldly analyze how you are now.
- We will see in this article what steps we can take when we are out of control.
Fear is an emotion that suddenly invades us when faced with a situation that our brains consider potentially dangerous to our well-being. In fact, the goal is not simply to “be afraid” but to prepare the body for quick action. it’s an attack or an escape, that is, what your brain wants is to protect you.
The mechanism that triggers fear at the biological level is found in the brain called reptile, which regulates the essential actions for the survival of the species, and in the limbic system, which regulates emotions and conservation functions. Tonsil, the brain structure responsible for triggering feelings of fear and anxiety.
On the other hand, by talking only about the psychology of fear, fear is an emotional state that helps to adapt to the environment and seek protection, but this state often seems disproportionate to the situation in which we find ourselves. you can paralyze it, or you may feel dazed and not respond properly.
In addition, fear can also appear disguised as anger, sadness or even uncontrolled joy, no matter what mask you wear. The important thing is that to respond to a situation of uncontrollability, we must first accept that one is afraid, and then start working even with him there, with us, keeping us company.
When you become a victim of fear and feel that there is nothing at hand, that everything is totally out of control and that nothing can be faced with what is presented, it is quite normal that you feel frustration and helplessness. that if fear paralyzes you, you’ll still think that all that’s to come will be chaos and that you’ll never be able to do anything, which results in a sense of loss of control.
If you let the sense of loss of control overwhelm you, you’ll end up paralyzed.
Now, if we combine fear with the sense of loss of control, the situation becomes a perfect context to wish the world to stop and we can simply abandon it. The bad news is that the world never stops, circumstances can’t change simply by your will. , not to mention people. So, what do we do?
We have good news: you can turn on a light yourself to see a path, pausing to think is a very important point, which will help you solve what is happening because it allows you to observe the situation from another point of view. looking for a different and much more effective approach.
This proposal is based on so-called circles of influence or control, a practice widely used by humanist psychologists, but which maintains a special relationship with the development of the theory of Viktor Frankl, Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist.
Control circles are a figurative way of seeing our environment, its influence on us and also our influence on it, it is necessary to understand three main circles:
That way, when you feel that everything is out of control and you feel the need to stop the world to get out because you can no longer cope with your current situation, stop for a moment and think about those circles. Try to differentiate and outline, the things you go through in each of them, and then think of realistic solutions.
All the energy you invest in control circles that you have no influence on is wasted energy and a good way to achieve fear and frustration.
If you stop, look at your circles and start to differentiate yourself or define how far you can go with your actions, the situation begins to become a little less chaotic. Automatically, paralysis or blockage resulting from fear and loss of control also begins to manifest. Fade.
The most important thing is to keep in mind that there are certain situations in which we can even exert some influence, but the end result may not depend only on us, so we must always put most of our energy into how we act on the face of facts, not on the resolution of the facts themselves.
Your nearest circle, over which we have the most control, is yourself. The way to get rid of unnecessary burdens is to devote most of our efforts and energy to our own actions. If you feel good about what you’ve done, even if the result doesn’t work out the way you want it, it will affect you much less if you understand that you’ve done everything you can.
So, before you ask the world to stop, stop and think again. After all, the most important thing is that you feel at peace with what you have decided and done. If you think you’ve done your best, the end result will be to go free.
The circumstances in which you are now may be largely independent of your desire to change them, i. e. you may not have control over everything that happens, even if that is the case, we will continue to have absolute control over how circumstances will affect us, your thoughts and feelings will always be affected in one way or another by the environment , but only at first, you can always take control of them, because they belong to you, that’s where the focus should be.
“If it is out of your control to change a situation that causes you pain, you can always choose the attitude with which you will face this suffering. ” – Viktor Frankl-