Saying goodbye to victimism once and for all is the key to a passionate and happy life, no one likes to be a victim, but the truth is that putting yourself in this position in a fictional way offers certain advantages that are sometimes difficult to give up For example, it seems that this is a position that legitimizes the demand for care and attention , when otherwise they could not be claimed.
Sometimes life is hard and difficult, both for us and for the rest of the world; at some point, we will all experience adversity. Some are tougher, some lighter, but obstacles are also part of this gift of living.
- The most important thing to keep in mind is that.
- As the great Buddha said.
- Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
That is, we do not have the ability to choose what will happen to us in life, at most we can make more or less wise decisions, but there is no guarantee that we will escape the pain, from now on we will always be able to choose how we prefer to address the problems.
We all know someone who always complains about everything, who assumes the role of wounded or injured, who usually blames the world or others but who does little to get out of that dark well he’s supposed to be submerged in. ?
They are people trapped in the victimization mechanism, that is, the tendency to think that they are miserable, that they are the preferred goal of bad luck and that others are bad with them and want to hurt them, when reality says something different. Actually, they may believe this because of a distortion of perception, or it can be just a simulation exercise.
The person who is rooted in victimization cannot come out of the shock he is going through and sinks more and more.
The people around you try in vain to help you, which only reinforces your pessimistic attitude, in the end they all end up suffering, although the person who suffers the most is the victim himself, because in the end he rarely stops feeling bad. He usually has low self-esteem and thinks that simply putting themselves in the role of victim will deserve affection and attention.
When your circle tries to help you, it feels attacked in such a way that it tries to strengthen your state, that is, they give you words and phrases like “poor thing”, “how much does life treat you?”Or, you’re unlucky, how unlucky are you? If someone tries to encourage you to take charge of your life and try to find solutions, you get offended and think that person doesn’t want to understand you or put you in your place.
We have already mentioned that while it is true that life brings many potholes, there are also people who are easily depressed and others with much more adversity who endure and continue to live normally.
It is of no use blaming others and the world, this attitude only keeps the problem alive or reaffirms us as careless victims, the victims do not seek solutions to their adversity, but they complain about the injustice of life and the bad luck they face in their lives. exhaustion and that of others.
It is a strategy widely used by these people, because by the tactic of provoking feelings of sadness in others, it is easier to obtain certain privileges.
Some of the phrases that come to mind on this point may be: “I raised you since I was a kid and now you’re going to live with your girlfriend and you’re going to leave me alone,” “If you have good grades, Mom will be cured. “In this way, the person feels responsible for the emotional state of the other person and will do everything possible to please him, even if he must violate his own rights and needs.
Don’t come to your game. If we stick to the blackmail and regret of those who play the role of victims, we will strengthen this behavior and not help them, but we will harm them The problem is that it is very difficult because our culture teaches us from very early on. Age we must feel compassion for those who suffer and help others, even if our own interests are left behind.
When it comes to a family member, does that make it even harder?Who wouldn’t help her mother who says she’s sick, depressed, sad, even if she doesn’t do anything to survive?
Anyone would give in to their complaints and accept it, but certainly that’s not the solution, because it would reinforce the fact that they can’t get out of it and that the solution is to complain and do nothing. but if we can correctly identify a victimistic attitude, we will try not to give in and help them not to reinforce their attitude.
We can say that we are here to seek a solution to the problem, but not the one they bring, but the one we see, to do everything possible to get out of this position, but not to hear any complaints or get the spread of negativism. Otherwise, the victim will not realize that their strategies are ineffective and that they should think about changing their attitude.