Authoritarian children are happier children. They learn to communicate their desires and become people who can set limits, thus improving their social performance.
However, having greater or lesser ease, this skill does not come from the “factory”; we can/should help children develop this skill.
You could say, almost without mistake, that sometimes we neglect what children really need.
We set goals such as finding the best school, enrolling them in English courses, hiring private tutors in disciplines where they don’t do well, we’re concerned about the kind of friendship they have, and things like regulating the use of electronic devices.
That’s very good. But what about your emotional skills, what about your social skills?Sometimes we assume that dimensions such as self-esteem, self-affirmation and even the concept of me are already part of their genetic code and form as they grow.
Make no mistake. These dimensions must be fed daily, cared for and guided in a delicate, intuitive and firm way for children to acquire skills in the fundamental areas of life, happiness and psychological well-being. Let us deepen this essential virtue: self-affirmation.
“If you don’t have empathy and effective personal relationships, no matter how smart you are, you won’t get very far” – Daniel Goleman-
To give the world strong children, it takes patience. Many parents and educators complain about having two types of children.
Some people talk as much as they breathe. They are the ones who are always frustrated and upset because they assume that almost everyone is against them, because they cannot do or have what they want at all times.
On the other hand, there are those who are characterized by an airtight passivity, in which they never say what they feel, those who do not complain. It is these children who are often the easy target of bullying dynamics.
Lack of assertiveness usually results in two extreme poles: passivity or aggression. No doubt none of these dimensions have good consequences.
Being able to give the world strong children is a way to invest in your happiness, as some studies explain, such as that published by Gertrude E. Chitten in the journal Society for Research in Child Development, we will invest in creating a more respectful society.
Let’s see how we can do that
To educate the children who claim themselves, we must start very early on with a very clear idea: the world is full of limits that we must respect.
Educating is not just telling them what is right and what is wrong, there is something beyond morality: there is civics, human respect, adaptation to social codes to live together.
Children understand much more than we think, and before speaking fluently, children understand many more concepts than they can express, so we need to consider the need to instill these principles in them:
Another essential aspect is that we cannot ask children to obey rules that we ourselves do not obey. So, if we talk to our partner with some aggression and disrespect, our children will emulate this communicative model.
If we want to give the world strong and happy children, let us be not only their best model and guide, but also their daily inspiration.
Children, especially from the age of 8, will claim their privacy space, something that we as parents must respect, but in turn foster confidence so that at all times they feel free and safe to share their concerns.
On the other hand, one way to increase their self-affirmation is to assign them responsibilities based on their age, something like this promotes their sense of competence, efficiency and adequate self-safety.
Finally, it is necessary that as parents or educators, we can teach them the right emotional intelligence skills.
This will help them better manage their emotional world, control their impulses, improve their social skills and basic emotional communication in their daily lives.
As we see, there are many details, aspects and values that we must instill or awaken our children so that, little by little, they are opening up in their immediate present with more security and solvency.
It is an adventure that will last for years, in which there will be critical phases and moments of great achievement, let’s be patient, let’s be above all that attentive and attentive look that knows how to be present at all times.