Life specializes in getting “against the wall,” giving us a rhythm we don’t look for in our heartbeats. Sometimes we are, we are responsible for what happens to us, but without wanting it. We are talking about this collection of problems that we all have, like a necklace, sometimes a stone necklace and sometimes a paper pendant, depending a little on our mental state, to face the problems we have developed different combat strategies, in this sense today we will talk about acceptance, struggle and differentiation.
Accept what? Who are you fighting, tell what? The answer is unique, the problems themselves. Yes, we’ll talk about the importance of accepting what we can’t change, struggling to transform what we can, and intelligence to decide which of these two strategies to use.
- Sometimes it’s very difficult.
- Helplessness hurts us so much that pain and anger turn into frustration.
- We are talking about grief.
- Everything we have lost and that we will not be able to recover: a deceased loved one.
- The years that have passed.
- An amputated leg.
- The feeling of coming home.
As we grow, we become experts in this field. Over the years, we have all accumulated a package of absences that turns sadness into nostalgia. To accept is to understand this feeling of not having that something as part of us, it is about recognizing its weight, integrating it into our history, accepting the good feelings that have remained and not just the suffering that results from absence. .
No matter how long it takes, even if we want to escape, we still love what we have lost, we must integrate it into our history, project it into the future, because much of what we expect from life has to do with what The child who has always lived surrounded by good people believes that all people are good and will treat them as such, increasing the likelihood that they really are.
To accept is to understand, but not only on the cognitive side, but also on the emotional side. We mature when we face problems with courage and acceptance.
A lot of what we expect from life has to do with what we’re already experiencing.
Fighting, fighting, facing a battle, investing resources, tackling desertation. We’ve spent four or five years studying for a successful career, nine months waiting for a child, days and days of cancer, dying moments waiting for the next bomb to explode. We study to understand, seek the best treatment and the best doctor to heal, evaluate everything and look for what we find safest.
When we understand that we have some control and that with that part we can achieve something positive, we move on, either for difficult or easy goals. In that sense, eye, do not lose sight of it, there are people who have a high degree of masochism and a particular affection for the goals that cause them greater suffering or wear and tear. One way or another, they seem to need suffering to live, as they need to eat or sleep.
Keep in mind that we are talking about coping strategies to deal with problems, before fighting or fighting it is best to try to reduce the amount of problems, separate the real problems from those we invent, those who are behind these ‘should’ It is great to do sport, but it can not become a constant suffering, it is good to eat healthy, but we can not fill our pantry with anything that is healthy , if it’s food we don’t like. In such cases, additional suffering will rarely bring benefits, only increasing the likelihood of abandoning healthy habits.
It is of no use to have the capacity for acceptance or commitment, if one fights without sufficient intelligence to differentiate what problems deserve a certain strategy and not another, to this day it is not yet possible to resurrect someone or travel back in time. we are talking about emotional involvement that is best solved by acceptance, on the other hand, all the problems we face or the changes we want to make must also be accepted, for example, it is difficult to be kind and polite if we do not accept ourselves as we really are.
One way or another, we spend a lot of time not knowing how to act, however, on many occasions, what we find are crossroads that we do not know if it is better to accept or fight.
Imagine this person with cancer doing several treatments together, when is the right time when acceptance can start to be a better strategy than combat?That’s why, to differentiate, intelligence is very important, but you also have to have knowledge. getting to know each other deeply will help draw this line, which is very important on many other occasions.