Have you read Franz Kafka’s metamorphosis? In this novel, a boy got up one morning and became a kind of cockroach. We also want a magic trick like this, but on the contrary: we want to wake up one morning and have all our problems solved. That would be ideal, wouldn’t it? However, this reflection is not very functional, so the best plan is to take control of life.
“Will everything ever change and improve?” See how everything’s going to get better?”How many times do we repeat these kinds of phrases? For some strange reason, when life isn’t going well, we tend to think that something outside will bring about change, so something will change the direction of events and everything will get better.
- We seem to be convinced that all problems are going to be solved.
- But things don’t work out that way: your life is up to you.
“Happiness is not something you do. Does this come from your own actions? -Dalai Lama-
Another great secret is that life is not solved alone, if we want to take control of life is to do our part, I have met many people who want to leave a relationship or get out of an uncomfortable situation, but are unable to make decisions. I also know a lot of people who repeatedly complain that things are going wrong, but they are not able to see their role in this game. In Kafka’s novel everything seems to happen magically, but reality is not like that.
When such situations begin to occur frequently, we can talk about the concept of victimization, through which we tend to think that we are victims of everything that happens around us, we are not aware of the power that we have in our hands. and we blame the external events for the evil that happens to us and the bad luck we have. Without a doubt, one of the most harmful attitudes we can have.
If sometimes you complain about phrases like “Does it happen to me?”Or you repeat similar expressions as if they were mantras every time something negative happens, eventually you will believe that this is true and become a passive agent of your life, that is, a person with no capacity for action. We all go through different, sometimes better, sometimes worse situations. Sometimes even adverse events or favorable situations occur.
Much of life depends on how we decide to face it, even if things go wrong, there are people who in the face of adversity always show a smile from ear to ear, and others who only say phrases full of negativity and take hostile gestures towards themselves. others and everything that surrounds them.
Better yet, even if it sounds like a lie, you can also choose. You have the power to choose to live your life calmly no matter what, or choose to live with a high level of anxiety and frustration.
In Buddhism there is a term whose description could occupy hundreds of pages but, ultimately, is known as the law of cause and effect, that is, Karma. According to Karma, if you plant a positive seed, you will reap positive. Fruit.
And what does this have to do with changing our lives?Very simple. Those who want change must act, nothing from outside will save them. All the energy you spend to dream of a better life you can invest it to start taking a new path, taking control of your life, because the new path depends only on you, on no one else, so if you start sowing the seeds of change, change will come.
Changing costs requires effort and not everyone is willing to do it, we cannot pretend to change our life without changing anything on a day-to-day basis, for many years we have acted in a specific way and this leaves very marked behavior patterns in each one of us. they. us What does that mean? That we try to solve the problems in the same direction, although we often find that this is not the best way.
Have you ever had classmates who, even if they spend their day studying, have failed?The vast majority of us know cases of very close people insisting on using the same methods, despite achieving unsatisfactory results. The fact that the effort was not enough, however, usually the problem is basically.
If you study hard and fail, what can be the problem?The method. This is where we need to work, to change the approach and method with which we want to achieve our goals.
Taking control of life involves action, effort and awareness
The first step in taking control of our lives is to analyze what we want to change, what aspects of our lives would we like to improve?It’s very important to be honest with ourselves.
We tend to be wrong, to lie, not to acknowledge our failures or not to work on what is needed, but that is a mistake. Sincerity is important and it’s a job we’re going to do internally, so we don’t need to tell anyone.
The second step is to look at what we’ve done so far to keep everything the same. Why do we end up the same way?Why hasn’t there been a change in the look we’d like to change?We should see if our tendency has been to repeat the same strategies over and over again, and if so, it’s time to change.
The third step in taking control of life, almost more important than the previous ones, is to overcome fear. Fear is a much-needed primary emotion that can save our lives in times of danger, but when it invades everyday life, it begins to manifest itself. be a problem.
This emotion tends to paralyze us and leave us trapped in our comfort zone, we prefer to follow wrong rather than face something new simply because we are afraid of what may happen or have to give up certain aspects of our lives.
What do you think if instead of sitting on the couch waiting for life to change, you get up and start to change? Have confidence in yourself. I guarantee that you will begin to see results that you never imagined, as a famous saying goes: to travel a thousand kilometers you have to take the first step.