That it’s not easy to talk and understand a teen is not new. Communication with teens can be complicated, especially for parents, who are in a new situation sooner than many would like.
Parents must understand that to communicate with a young person it is essential to recognize that the situation is changing, adolescence is a very important period in people’s lives and it is necessary to adapt to understand what is going on.
- It’s normal for parents to get frustrated when their children start growing up.
- As they start wanting to live their lives independently and plan their free time without relying on anyone but their friends.
- As a result.
- It seems that they are building an impassable wall and stop talking about topics that were once the subject of lengthy conversations.
In addition, teens start speaking their own language, dress differently, listen to other types of music, and watch other types of movies.
Suddenly, parents realize that they can no longer make plans for themselves and that what they want or think doesn’t matter, the father’s opinion no longer counts.
All this disappoints, of course it is! Parents have dedicated their lives to shaping perfect children in their own way and it seems like everything is happening in the sewer.
But we must not fall into the trap of thinking that as parents we are exhaustible. Our children love us, but like any other teenager, ours?They also want to assert their independence and feel competent alone.
Many mothers and fathers complain because they can’t talk to their children, because they can’t tell them what happens every day. But the problem is, most of the time, we don’t ask the questions right.
For a teen to open up to a conversation with an adult, it’s important to ask questions in a way that encourages interaction.
Instead of asking closed questions that only allow you to answer yes or no, asking a young man is much more effective at asking an open question.
In other words, if we want to know how your day went, instead of asking yourself, “Is everything okay at school today?”Or “you have a lot of homework to do,” it’ll be more effective to ask yourself questions. about something concrete in a concrete way about something you’re interested in, such as “what have you done in physical education?”or what did the professor ask for in the literature test?
Given general questions about general aspects, it is much more effective, from the beginning, to engage in dialogue, to ask adolescents about people or facts that are important to them, even if they are topics that, as parents, we do not know. understand or worry.
Our children appreciate that we care about their tastes, especially when we ask them really interesting questions that encourage them to express themselves.
You don’t have to wonder if we’re not listening carefully to what our children tell us, and if all we care about is what we’re going to say next or whether we’re going to use the answer they give us. to achieve something that interests us as parents.
If we use our children’s answers to manipulate or scold them, we can only get them to shut down more and more. And we can never know or understand them, let alone help them when they need it.
It is very positive to take advantage of certain situations or circumstances to ask our children about their personal tastes, for example, we can take the opportunity to ask where they would like to travel or what they would like to see after watching a movie that projects a different culture or place, or take advantage of a family event to ask them about their expectations in life, but without seeking to influence them , only with the intention of knowing them.
We can offer a game for family or friends that consists of asking innocent and fun questions that a person does and that everyone has to answer. In addition to being fun, this game allows children to meet their parents and parents to be disclosed.
Sometimes we complain that our children do not communicate with us, that we do not know them, but we forget that maybe they feel the same way about us, and that a change in attitude on our part can foster and improve our relationship. with them.