Telling the truth has become in most cases synonymous with offended people. The truth? It is a positive value and it would be perfect if we still had access to it. Why, then, has it become a means of attacking others?
The answer could be in a society that lives under the implicit covenant of lying in human relations and apparently softening them, it seems that if we want to maintain harmony with someone we have to lie to them and if we decide to do so. end this rose garden, just tell the truth, on the worst terms.
- Sometimes telling the truth is an act accompanied by anger.
- Other times.
- The person who is the object?The truth? You feel bad when you’re told.
- Even if the intention is constructive.
We must be able to tell and listen to the truths we do not like, without being lead to great conflict. Then we will see some keys so that telling the truth does not become something unpleasant and harmful.
First, it is important to look at what our intentions are when telling the truth, the first thing is to be honest with ourselves and decide whether a constructive desire drives us or if, on the contrary, we use this uncomfortable truth as a pretext to harm someone.
How you tell the truth will depend on that intention, when the motivation is positive a gentle approach is opted to communicate with the other person, for example, a defect, a fault or an inconsistency is reported, so that it becomes a contribution and not an affront. To do this we can also count on the good or better, in this way the message will not be so aggressive.
Uncomfortable truth often involves both sides. So if we can tell the truth, we must also listen to it. Honest conversations have two hands. Both sides have something to say.
Listening is opening the mind to each other’s point of view, constructive listening aims to draw useful conclusions for all involved, so there is no reluctance to understand the reasons of others, nor to recognize the truths of others.
It is not appropriate to try to think for others in two ways, the first is to imagine what the reaction of that person to which the truth is directed could be, to abandon yourself assuming any possible harm or discomfort that might cause.
The second sense is to assume that what is inside the other is totally clear, that your most secret intentions and feelings are known, that they are the basis for judging them, in both cases thinking for others only leads to error, telling the truth is not the same as believing that you have the truth.
An uncomfortable truth seems terrible when you have anger, strong words and disrespect, however, it is not appropriate to express it with euphemisms, subtleties or using mechanisms to artificially soften, in both cases there is a distortion of the central objective, that is to say the truth.
The right thing to do is to communicate these truths calmly and clearly, the rodeos only give the feeling of wanting to cheat or manipulate the situation, it is good to think of the most appropriate words to deliver a precise, concise and understandable message.
Telling the truth should always have a purpose. However, many times we do not make an effort to define it clearly before speaking, which is a big mistake, because the affirmation of truths can obey not so positive or not so relevant motivations.
The question is, what do you want to achieve with the truth? A healthy response has to do with the intention of overcoming conflict, seeking a better understanding, or increasing the quality of the bond that unies us.
It would be nice to banish the idea that telling the truth amounts to insulting. Being rude doesn’t mean someone’s honest. Truths are always heard and accepted better if they are accompanied by respect and a genuine intention to build something more positive for us. those involved.