The concept of failure is highly stigmatized. Because we are small, the looks we get when we fail or make mistakes are very similar to the looks we get when we misbehave. Then we start looking at each other that way; Instead of rejoicing at having found a path that is not valid and being able to reject it, it irritates us with ourselves, we insult ourselves and we wish that sadness invades us, as if it were the most just emotion for this moment.
Moreover, when we do not understand failure as a positive thing, we tend to close, abandon the projects that we had on our hands and think that we are useless, how are we going to take advantage of what this error has to teach us if we look at it in this way, if we try to erase it as if it were a misspelled text?
- People who do not accept failures or who do not know how to learn from them are generally people who are not accepted by themselves.
- Tend to seek perfectionism in all their actions.
- And when they realize that they are not perfect and that their expectations are not fulfilled.
- They are able to leave everything and fall into absolute despair.
This attitude, so ineffective, only stops people with high potential and good skills for fear of failure again, attitude that keeps them in a glass box, in the comfort zone.
The person who never fails is the one who never tries and stays in the area where he knows the risks are minimal, but in reality these people aspire to a more exciting life, with challenges or goals to achieve, and it is not that it is entirely necessary to turn dreams into reality or succeed.
When you stop trying for fear of failure, you are already stroking failure, the pain is less intense than the anxiety that can result from the realization of a project that tests our skills, but once this phase is overcome, life comes to life. a much brighter color.
Failure, far from being a gateway to abandoning our dreams, must be the sign that we are growing as people, an indicator that we are exploring new paths and that through all this we will improve, mature and develop our capabilities. .
It is true that failure is not under our control and that, if you want to succeed, you must assume that you will make mistakes several times, what is under our control is the ability to persist, no matter what, and that is where it is good to invest our energies.
Failure is not an end, but an intermediate step. The undeniable movement towards success or triumph in all walks of life. Failure therefore has more advantages than disadvantages; all we have to do to achieve this is to be aware that failure does not define us or mean more than the need to act differently.
To learn how to better manage failures, the first step is related to an equally complicated and important task: accepting what we can’t change, don’t want to have the cards that give us luck, when they will no longer be dealt or played. , whatever the result, we are not this game and we will not always play with the same cards, we are not our thoughts or our behavior, we are much more than that, complex and changing beings, who learn and have different opportunities to improve. .
The next step is to adjust expectations. We have to be very clear about what the real self and the ‘ideal self’ are. The real self is the person I am, no more or less, it is made up of my personal characteristics, my abilities, my virtues, my flaws and my limitations, if I know myself well, I will know as far as I can and I may not go.
The ideal me is the person that I think I am, but in reality I am not. If I have very high expectations of myself and believe more in my ideal self, than in my “true self” I will suffer when reality tells me that I have to adjust the level.
Finally, he learns to tolerate the frustrations that life brings. Projects are always carried out the way we want, but that doesn’t have to be a defeat. We will accept what we do not like, including our own mistakes; we will learn from them because what we have left will be food for the hope of moving forward.