Sometimes this strange feeling happens: that nothing is the same as before, the eyes lose their brightness, the words their music, and day by day we become more aware that we only have ashes, and that sooner or later that fast wind that transforms everything. The moment we have to be prepared for.
It’s not easy. Throughout our life cycle, we have often faced this same taste, many say that it is all due to routine, it is she who drags her heavy chains around us to transform into less spontaneous beings, less eager for closeness, hidden affections and heart-accelerating details.
- Maybe it’s her.
- The dreaded routine.
- Or maybe we’re the ones who change over time.
- Ourselves that allow every day and almost not knowing why.
- Our emotions fade.
- Sometimes we’re like the candle that shines brightly at night.
- A light that dances and inspires us with its forms.
- But burns with the hours.
- Until it finally leaves a strange.
- Sweet and uncomfortable aroma.
- As in a dream of the past that no longer makes sense in the present.
- Maybe?.
Assuming that nothing is as before invites us to think deeply. Perhaps it is not a forced end, but a necessary moment of dialogue, of dominant mutual efforts to renew this bond, this relationship. Acting with maturity and responsibility is the best key to achieving this. paving the way for a new beginning, or perhaps an inevitable end.
When someone realizes that things no longer have the brilliance, intensity and magic of yesterday, the first thing they feel is a deep contradiction, a wave of bitterness and a touch of nostalgia. More than moments, we miss the emotions of the past. and the complicities that built a daily life where there were no holes, where the illusion filled everything and, in turn, guaranteed a meaning to life.
When this emotional bond loses strength and languishes the intimacy that the couple had yesterday, you could say that everything is missing. It is a slow decline that saddens and despairs at the same time, because our brain needs above all to “feel safe”. . Think that you don’t like contradictions and those misfits that you instantly interpret as a threat, as a warning sign.
When we enter this alarming phase, the first thing we do is look for a reason, although many simply focus on the “who”. It’s common to blame the other, “Is it because you neglect me, it’s because you don’t consider me anymore, it’s because you were doing this and that and now you don’t care about those details anymore?”
Focusing exclusively on each other to accuse the other may sometimes be justified, of course, but it is not in all relationships where there is only one culprit, but it would be a good idea if we get used to changing certain terms in this type of relational dynamics. Instead of using the word? And the negative component that this implies, it is better to use the term “responsibility”.
In the game of energies and reinforcements, both positive and negative, that make up the universe of the couple, both members are responsible for the climate and the quality of it. And sometimes, and it’s good to be very clear, you don’t. It is necessary to desperately seek a culprit to understand why nothing is the same as before, because they are not looked at in the same way or seem to be needed as much as yesterday.
Love sometimes fades. It could happen to one of us, or maybe both, because, although they often try to convince us otherwise, people change over time, or more that change, they grow, new needs and new interests are emerging: what was now a priority is not so much.
A fact that is not without some tenacity that is interesting to manage properly.
No one can and does not deserve to live forever in this antechamber of broken emotions, incomplete relationships or hopes that will never come true, if nothing is as before and nothing can fix it, we must take the step in a mature way. to end the relationship in the most dignified way possible.
In an interesting 2005 study by the Journal of Social Personal Relationships, they concluded that there are three keys to closing a romantic relationship in the most positive and appropriate way for both members of the couple, so, based on the results of this work, what should be avoided, above all, is what is called the application of the “ghost effect” , that is, to practice evasive behavior to gradually move away from each other without giving any explanation.
Let’s look below at the three keys to finishing a relationship maturely.
The first point in managing these situations is to make sure that there is no choice but separation. Always remember that we will face the pain much better knowing that we have done everything we can.
The second step that experts recommend is not to destroy “the other before the end” with the relationship itself. As we have pointed out before, sometimes finding the culprit is of little use, if we use criticism, discredit, humiliation and anger all we can do is feed negative emotions to create an energy so deep that we can further avoid completing this step.
Finally, and while it is always a difficult aspect and for many it makes no sense, we must forgive. Forgiveness is not hesitant; It is an essential step ritual to let go without burdens, without grudges. It is the end of a stage in which we must forgive ourselves for the pain caused, but on the other hand, accept all that we share. At the right time through “forgiveness?brave”, it will help us to open new paths leaving behind a past where dreams and hopes no longer fit.