Today, on my way to work, I looked at the reflection of the sun among the trees and found a unique beauty in the contrast of the green of the leaves with the lilac of Ype and the yellow of nearby Sibipiruna. I recorded it in my photographic memory and smiled. It’s these little details that allow us to dream. So much thank you!? Thought.
Did I remember my son sitting in the chair, barely reaching the table, drinking his milk and talking, resigned and kept by his grandmother’s affection?Goodbye, Mom, I love you. Of my daughter entering school with her coat tied to her waist and a high ponytail, calling me from the hallway, as she does every day as I look through the bars until she disappears, even if she deprives me of it. Minutes, even if I miss the bus?
- I thought of my mother sitting in the kitchen.
- Waiting for me to come through the window.
- Already with a cup on the table to have that cup of coffee while we quickly talked about all the topics that would last a day.
- Maybe.
- Weeks.
- Or would that never end.
- Sometimes I can stay a little longer?Hours pass fast when I’m with her.
- Are we talking about so many things?How many things to be grateful for?.
But all of a sudden I felt tired. Oh, who was he trying to fool?Maybe it wasn’t so suddenly. But today, in time, it was like I lacked strength, have you ever felt that way?So tired of everything you didn’t have the courage to do?
I did what I do every day. I got on autopilot, followed the routine I can no longer do, mentally ennoteed the commitments of the day and was very vague thinking about everything I had to do, laziness may not be the most appropriate word. Exhausted? Not always, but today? Today I would snuggle up in a corner, in deep silence, close my eyes and stay there, waiting, waiting, waiting. . . I don’t know what it is.
Have I meditated? I took away my thoughts, transported myself to a different reality.
I think that’s what the dreaming habit is for, if you don’t do it I recommend it, meditate, dream, call it what you want, but escape a while from where you are and fly. , create a scene, a moment, a life or just walk on the beach?But go ahead. He’s so good when you’re in chaos.
Fatigue, chaos. Pieces of a puzzle that was no longer mine. So much to change?” Everything’s fine, everything’s always fine, no problem,” I read in a book. “Take care of yourself more?” I heard. Thank you and good things are happening,” I saw it in an image on Facebook. But for a brief moment, everything remained chaos in me and I was weak.
For a brief moment? So I rubbed my eyes, reheded the ponytail and scoured the memories of that melancholy morning on me. “So many things to be grateful for? Many, actually. I know I’m the luckiest, most tired, exhausted, most chaotic person in the world.
But sometimes? During this brief moment, I like to look at myself in the mirror and assume that I’m not cool, that I’m tired. I’m not wearing makeup, I’m not wearing adornments that disguise those days when, like autopilot, I rearrange the spaces within me.
So thank you, for everything, but above all for daydreaming, for the reality in which I find myself and for having the possibility to make the dreams with which I live come true, because they are alive?And that’s what moves me, that’s what I realize. What are my chances in my life of dreaming?And pinch me, don’t do it! I wasn’t dreaming. Was he alive?
But living is exhausting. Making dreams means walking, sometimes or often, in chaos. In those days, we sit and look at the landscape of life itself, look at everything in slow motion, reproduce the memories of the morning, create new dreams and understand that it is necessary to move to live.
I didn’t want a mediocre life, with few emotions, why did you want to have a life?And I plunged into the chaos of my desire, but alive?I have dreams and dream of dreaming more about others and although exhausted I keep walking, sometimes on autopilot, sometimes at high speed, others pushing, but I am, I don’t know how, but I go. With luck and gratitude, dreaming or not, healing and hurting the heart, right?
Sometimes I’m tired, oh, how I feel! Because living is exhausting, you know, but what if you don’t live?How will you know? I don’t want to live in the ignorance of living life, so I think I’m going to get some sleep now. Because I am not one to stop, nor to those who deceive the the most dreaming, without the dream coming true, if I am going to do it, I do not know. But stuck, I don’t know how to stay either.