Everything in us doesn’t make sense, everything that comes is not appropriate, applying adequate emotional and psychological filters on a daily basis will prevent certain toxicities from reaching us, this will frighten the camouflaged wolves of seductive sheep and viruses capable of over-developing us. burdens, stress and bitter experiences.
All these dimensions are important and are also not known, however, and to understand a little better what it means not to apply these “psychological umbrellas” daily, let’s talk about tiredness. you know, it’s in physical exertion. However, and as curious as it may seem, there is another type that is more common in the population and tends to be more chronic.
“Disappointments sometimes kill, but it’s hope that allows us to survive. “George Sand.
We are talking about an emotional fatigue capable of creating in us a psychosomatic image, where there is no shortage of neck and back pains, headaches, digestive problems, many simply call it?Be exhausted? (Burnout) Dragging this emotional exhaustion, which defeats the physique to become captive, often leads to a hidden depression that is not always easy to diagnose.
The origin of this kind of concrete reality lies in being openly permeable to everything that comes to us, to everything around us, the fact that we do not put barriers, limits and not position ourselves behind a shield in the face of what we do not like, we hurt and stress, will cause us to end up defeated inside, overcome by apathy, discouragement and frustration.
We must learn to face reality in a different way: to protect ourselves.
The permeability applied to human behavior has a very real and even necessary purpose: we must be open to everything that forces us to learn, to integrate new patterns of knowledge and to survive. Filtering in our being what others bring us or contribute allows us to grow and that is undoubtedly a wonderful thing.
What comes to us sometimes is exactly what we need. We’ve all been there at some point. Therefore, those who maintain a rigid thought pattern and a closed mind do not advance, do not take advantage of these new opportunities to be happy, so most of the time we have to deal with a brain programmed to be receptive, porous as a sponge that seeks to absorb everything around us.
However, and here is the problem, what instinctively does the brain does not correspond to what our psychological balance needs, being receptive does not always lead to personal development, on the contrary, it leads to emotional involution. Respect, it is very interesting to remember what Albert Ellis, in his approach to emotional-behavioral rational therapy, called “the triad of unhappiness. “
According to Ellis, people apply daily three types of irrational expectations that would invariably lead us to this classic misfortune where the emotional exhaustion mentioned above also lies.
So, with irrational thinking, do we have to do everything right?Or that “others will always treat me the way I want” is also the third one to which we must react, that is, “I don’t need to take care of what bothers me or worries me. “they are permeable, we also stop dealing with what we don’t like, it is diluted as water and salt, an unpleasant mixture that is ingested every day, this is not the best option.
How far are you willing to give in without giving up who you are?How far are you going to let others drag you into your personal worlds?Everything that comes is not practical, nor everything that happens must be incorporated into your life.
“Everything has limits, only our own ingenuity is unlimited. -Rabindranath Tagore-
It is essential that we learn to place the right personal limits, to know what this basic strategy of our own personal growth implies and implies, to visualize for a moment a bright and warm circle that surrounds us, this space in which we are contained is a space that protects us from the outside world and, in turn, allows us to connect with others without having to merge.
This magic circle, in turn, has a fabulous property: it is flexible, it allows us to connect without losing our own identity, and in turn it extends when we perceive something or someone that can help us grow without hurting us.
However, this circle is wise and ruthless. When they want to hurt us, it contracts immediately, because that defensive barrier is closely linked to our own values, to our self-esteem and to our identity, if what happens harms leave it out and that’s it, those personal limitations tend to harm us. develop in our childhood and adolescence; however, it is common that at certain times in our lives they have been wounded, forced to open up because of excessive permeability.
No problem, it’s not the end. We are always in time to remedy it, to cauterize its broken parts to create another perfect, strong and powerful circle, a circle that has enough flexibility to know what is right for us and what is better to leave in the lobby of unwanted guests, in the antechamber. of false friends, false dreams and false hopes.
Not everything that comes with it is fine. Remember this
Main image courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccolli.