In, does the Little Prince say that “language is a source of misunderstandings”. The phrase is very correct, considering that it is not easy to turn our thoughts into words and express them so that our interlocutor understands them perfectly. it won’t necessarily be understood as you imagine.
In fact, our messages are never 100% understood. If someone says, for example, “I’m in love,” it refers to a reality that will hardly be understood by the other.
- ? I’m in love? It can mean hope.
- Having established a very close relationship with your partner.
- Or simply being very attracted to the other person.
- It would be very necessary to know the other person to know what you mean when you say “I’m in love.
- “.
“Whatever you think, I think it’s best to put it in good words. “William Shakespeare
Similarly, words are not the only source of communication, as they are accompanied by attitudes, gestures and postures, you can say something with your mouth and something completely opposite in tone, look or attitude in general, so learning to communicate is a real art.
The greatest challenge of communication occurs when we talk about our inner world, especially our feelings, emotions or perceptions. In addition to not being easy to put all this into words, it is impossible to disconnect from the feelings, emotions and perceptions that can be generated when something is said, to communicate something it is always important to take into account the reaction that we provoke. of those who listen to us.
We do not communicate only to transmit information, but we mainly seek to influence our interlocutors in one way or another, we want them to believe in us, admire us, validate our position, understand us.
But sometimes we also try to arouse a certain fear, to be obeyed, to allow ourselves to impose ourselves, or to feel hurt and wounded, sometimes we are aware of that, sometimes we are not aware of that. Strange as it may seem, our goal in communicating sometimes is to create confusion, not to be understood, but to stop understanding us.
It is precisely the intention that defines the essence of each message, you can flatter someone to recognize their virtues, but you can also flatter that person and make them more vulnerable to any kind of manipulation that you want to initiate.
This intention, however, is often not even clear to us. We believe our goal is to “get the other one out of their mistake,” but we don’t consider the possibility that the other is right.
We believe that the goal is to strip ourselves of our feelings, but we don’t know that, deep down, what we’re really looking for is compassion or affirmation, and if we don’t get them, we’re sure they didn’t understand. a letter from what we said.
Human communication is a complex process that always involves a certain degree of misunderstanding, it depends not only on the words we use to say things (although it is very important), but on many circumstances.
We have to take into account the moment, the place, the interlocutor, but above all it takes a great deal of effort to ensure, as far as possible, that we really say what we mean, human beings communicate all the time. With the expression of our face, the way we dress, the way we walk, our gaze, a long etc.
As a result, much of our messages are generated unconsciously. When we say that someone “makes us cold in the spine” it is because they have communicated to us with their seemingly unreliable gestures and attitudes. The opposite is true, too. What we communicate all the time sets a precedent for constructive, destructive or neutral relationships.
The daily bonds, with the man who sells milk, for example, will be imbued with sensations and emotions that we probably do not give much importance to, however, when it comes to the great connections in our lives, the subject of communication becomes relevant. .
The close ties are full of elements of communication. Words, silences, looks, it all makes sense.
That is when it becomes more important than ever to generate mechanisms for healthy messages to circulate, to achieve this it is important to eradicate some forms of communication and feed others.
Basically, you need to learn to communicate by affection. Allude to how we feel, as clearly as possible, and let’s avoid the disastrous habit of referring to the other person’s feelings How do you know how the other person feels if, surely, you don’t know how you feel completely?
Aggressive communication always leaves deep traces. The only companions of anger should be silence and pause, otherwise it is very likely that we are distorting what we really want to say.
Good communication requires serenity and relevance. Find the right time, place and environment to address difficult issues, let our love flow spontaneously when we are calm and open to others.
In fact, what bothers communication is not what you say, but how you say it, and what enriches an important bond is to have the delicacy to choose the best ways to tell us and to tell others how we feel and think.
Images courtesy of Robert Ireland, Pascal Campion, Christian Schloe.